A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a great guy for about a month and a half now, for some reason we started having these silly tiffs, and when things started getting a little out of hand we decided to give each other a some space to figure out what the root of this problem could be...I realized that I still carry grudges relating to my previous relationship, which I never allowed myself to overcome. These grudges make me act insecure, jealous, whiney and short tempered. (Since the previous boyfriend had numerous affairs in the 4 years we were together, which I only found out about when we split up)I need help to overcome these bad (habits?) I've developed because of the past, because I am pushing this new wonderful, trustworthy, gentle guy away. I'd like to start with a clean slate and leave all the hurt in the past, but where do I start?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 I have been in the same situation and I can understand that when you are insecure it can be very hard to overcome! Me and my boyfriend sat down and just talked to each other! I explained what was causing my behaviour and said that I would try to overcome this but I required his help! I told him that I needed a lot of reassurance because I had been treated badly prior to being with him. He agreed and although it took time and a lot of reassurance I think I'm past it now!
The key thing to remember is that he is not your ex! As you said he is trustworthy, he sounds like a nice person!! Whenever you start to feel doubts just think logically, you have a wonderful boyfriend who is amazing to you! He is not like your ex!!
This is something which will pass with time! Communication is essential to keep your relationship! As long as you tell your boyfriend how you feel then I'm sure he will be willing to help!x
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