A
female
age
30-35,
*ust_Me_16
writes:So today my bf got a text and I asked who it was just curious and he was, like, what's it matter. And then he told me. It wasn't nothing but a simple "hey" but it was a girl he has had sex with before didn't date or anything just wanted some I guess. She has the same group of friends pretty much. But I just feel insecure when she's around or I hear about her. It's not often she's around but it still got to me. Is it ok for a guy to still talk and remain friends with someone he has slept with. Or am I just being insecure an worrying over nothing. And I trust him. But I don't talk to any of the guys I have did stuff with. That's just the kind of person I am. Was it wrong to ask who it was?
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (4 June 2011):
The question is: Is it ok if he remains friends with this girl knowing you don't like it?
It's obvious he thinks he can be friends with her. But you should ask him to stop talking to her if you don't like it. It's a matter of how much he respects you. If he does he will understand it. His sexual past is the past and shouldn't be brought to the present.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2011): If you trust him then even if this girl did try something, he'd tell her to get lost. Right?
There isn't anything wrong with being friends with someone you have slept with in the past as long as that's all it is, friendship.
If all your boyfriend did was have sex with this girl occasionally and they didn't even have a relationship, i'd wonder why he still talks to her. If their past is just based on sex and nothing else then this girl might be interested in rekindling something.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (4 June 2011):
 I don't reckon it's ok. It seems like she might have some interest in him and I would discourage the association. By the same token it may be all completely innocent apart from some feelings so there's no need to get crazy. I would keep my eye on the situation and offer discouragement whenever appropriate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2011): I think it's ok for them to still be friends... as long as that's all they are. however, you should mention your insecurities to him. Maybe he doesn't realise how it makes you feel?
Perhaps once he knows, he'll limit his contact with her, because, as his girlfriend, you're more important to him
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