A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts, i want to know if it's normal for me to be interested in transgender people sexually and emotionally.Right now im 18 years old, It all started a little over 2 years ago. I was looking at pornography on the internet and i happened to notice a link that had transsexual porn so i clicked on it and ever since then basically the only porn i watch is transsexual porn. But that's not all, i also at times think about what it would be like to be in a relationship with a TS and to be in love with a TS. Is it ok for me to have these romantic thoughts about Transsexuals? Should i date transsexuals or should i dismiss it as pure fantasy? Please help.
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male
reader, MacShreach  +, writes (18 December 2012):
There are some interesting misconceptions here and elsewhere on this site. In the first place, transwomen are women just like any other women and they do not like to be fetishised. Please treat them with respect, and not as an experiment for your sexual interest. Having said that of course there is nothing wrong with being attracted to transwomen and there is no reason why you should not date them. However, some transwomen do not wish to be dated by men who are seeking transwomen, since they consider themselves women. This is complex, but expect a few knockbacks because of it. On the other hand, there are far more young transwomen around now and many more are happy with their trans status. These women are likely to respond better. You think ordinary women are tricky, capricious, moody and hyper-sensitive? You ain't seen nothing yet. Transwomen are demanding. This is partly because they have a tough life path to follow and they feel they always have to 'measure up'. If they are on hormones, then expect volatility, especially if they retain the male gonads. Their lifestyle is expensive--hormones, surgery, frequently non-standard sizes of shoes and clothing. More importantly, THEY CANNOT HAVE KIDS. If you're thinking about long-term, you have to consider this. Are you prepared to forego that? Or will you break her heart when your biological clock tells you to reproduce? Also, contrary to porn-fuelled myth, VERY FEW transwomen like to dominate. They are girls and they want to be treated that way. Many do not even like having their penises (if still there) touched, or sucked. Some do. Finding out is tricky and you need great patience and sensitivity. Now let's talk about you. You are transattracted. You're not necessarily gay, no matter what some people might say. Genuinely transattracted men just see transwomen as women. I do have to say that if this is the case for you, you have to think long and hard. Is it just curiosity? There are ways to find out. However in my opinion, if you are strongly transattracted, you will eventually have to accept that and find a nice transwoman to be with. To correct jc2008, transgender women are not 'meant to look opposite..... to the gender they were born as.' No one has a gender when they are born, though they may have a physical birth sex. Gender is a construct that we develop through childhood, which may or may not match our birth sex (if we have a defined one). Transpeople appear to be the gender they identify as. I know you meant well but it's a big difference.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your responses and no i actually dont personally know any transsexual people as im still in high school. But i see that there is nothing wrong with dating a transsexual so when im ready for it, im going to try and date one and see where it goes.
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A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (28 February 2012):
Hey, well different strokes for different folks. Transgender people are meant to look opposite (hope i've worded this correctly) to the gender they were born as. Sexuality isn't as black and white as were brought up to believe and I think you should go find out what you like. Is there a transgender person you know that your interested in? At the end of the day you should go and find out, liking a M to F transexual doesn't make you gay for example. You should love the person for who they are so why not, you might find yourself very happy with one.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (28 February 2012):
 It's perfectly fine to be interested in pretty much any kind of person. It's perfectly fine to be attracted to and interested in transsexuals, lots of people are. I would say if you're really wanting to, look online at various dating sites and make it clear that you'd like to meet some transsexuals, and date one.
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