A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was involved with someone for about 1 1/2 years. I was very much in love with him, but it turns out that he did not feel the same. He lied to me, betrayed me, caused me great financial stress, suffered an emotional breakdown that landed me in the hospital. He then left me and married someone he had been cheating on me with. During the course of our relationship, I met his brother, who was always very nice, but we rarely saw him. Now that my love has left me, I have been talking to his brother, at first i thought he was just being supportive, and being a shoulder to lean on, but recently, things have changed. We have a lot in common, and our interest in each other is becoming more than just as friends. Meanwhile my ex, has been back in forth in my life, claiming he made a mistake, and to give him time to clear it up. The brother tells me this is a pattern with his little brother, and that I deserve better, that I am a nice person beautiful and smart, and that his brother doesnt know what he had in me. He wants to start a relationship with me, but knows that I am still battling feelings for his brother. But he said he will be there for me no matter what capacity, because I am a great person, and whenever I am ready, he will be there. We have great conversations, nothing intimate, but the attraction is there. Is it okay for me to date him and see where it goes?
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I decided to move forward with Ken, Edison's brother, and I have never been happier. He is a God Send and we get along great. We are definitely taking it slow, but enjoying every moment of it. Edison doesnt know yet, and we dont know how the family is going to react, but for us, it doesnt matter, and I guess its just one of those things that people will just have to get used to. I mean Edison wasnt right for me, but Ken is. He and I are the same sign as well. sagitarius...... His birthday is 3 days after mine. I guess time will tell. His kids know me from being with Edison, so I wonder how they will react with this. He has been out of town for a while now, working, but will be back after new years. I guess thats when we will come out with everything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your insight, I think I was feeling guilty about it, but what happened wasnt planned and this is truly a wonderful guy. I only wish I had met him first. I will post what happens as this plays out, but I am moving forward with him.
Thank you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jason Michael  +, writes (22 December 2010):
Cerberus may be correct in saying there is nothing "morally, spiritually or even physically" wrong with dating your ex partners brother, but there 'may' be an ethical problem with it. Ultimately it is up to you (and I do wish you all the best in this). It will all depend on the effect such a relationship will have within the relationship between your ex partner and his brother (and within their wider family). This is not your fault, and you mustn't feel responsible for this, but we all know that love affairs can have terrible repercussions between brothers, sisters and friends. The ethical 'dilemma' is up to you to weigh up - as ever situation and family is unique. Best of luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): nothing wrong with that!
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Yes you could date him, but at the same time you are opening yourself up to an interesting set of issues: 1) Are you potentially doing this for revenge (and vica versa) 2) You'll have to deal with your ex a lot more often than if you found someone outside of his family. If you guys turn serious and start having family get togethers, your ex is going to be sitting on the other side of the table. Will this be too awkward for you and your new boyfriend?Otherwise, on the surface, there really isn't anything wrong, so long as you are upfront about the potential issues.
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Of course it is okay! There is nothing wrong with this morally, spiritually or even physically. Nothing should stop you from pursuing a relationship with someone who feels the same way about you as you do for him. Forget your ex. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
...............................
|
