A
female
age
36-40,
*uxy
writes:I guy who follows my photography blog messaged me a few times about how much he liked my work, he also reblogged some of my images and told people about me.He sent me a message asking me to go and see him play (hes a musician) I didn't go even though he lives in the same town as me I found it weird as I don't know him.While he was messaging me today he mentioned his wife and kids not being very well, as his blog was about his music i didn't realise he had a wife and kids! we haven't been talking about anything sexual, just photography and music but I still feel like if it was my husband and we had kids I wouldn't like that he is talking to other women online, even if it is innocent.Is he doing anything wrong? I feel like I should ignore him but this maybe just because I have trust issues as my ex recently cheated on me. so i'm not trusting men at the moment. :)
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cheated on me, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Ditto, Mickey Sánchez.
A
female
reader, luxy +, writes (18 October 2010):
luxy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt still doesn't feel that innocent to me. I stopped replying and now he is using my business phone number to text me and my email address also. It isn't so much about photography anymore, he does keep complimenting my work but he is also asking what I'm doing at sending me text messages late at night when surely he should be in bed with his wife asleep or something?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): i live in chat rooms and its proven not all married men in chats are looking to cheat. as a matter of fact some of my best chatfriends are married guys!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (17 October 2010):
I surmise that you have pictures of yourself on your blog.
Maybe he is not following your blog with romantic intentions. Perhaps he did like your photos, and invited you to see him play because he liked your work. He noticed you were not there, so he drops the hint that he's married and has kids, so you won't think he is after you. It would be difficult to tell a woman something like "Hey, you misunderstood me: I didn't want you in a romantic way", as it would assume that you would be interested in him, something he apparently doesn't know.
His interest could also be romantic. In that case, his mentioning wife and kids could be a way to test the waters, whether you'd still be interested even if you knew he was married.
If this upsets you, tell him so, and ask him not to keep posting on your blog or following you. Do this in a firm and polite but extremely clear way. If he will post again, then block his address and ban his IP address.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Well, right now, the guy hasn't done anything wrong, and for a musician (or photographer for that matter), using the internet is a vital way of growing a fan base. In order to be noticed by the music industry, one has to make a loud enough popular affect as to generate a lot of buzz. It would be insane to suggest that someone never communicate with a member of the opposite sex for any reason.
However, it's good that you're mindful of a boundary that should not be crossed, and it's also good that you have your guard way up. It's okay if you don't want to continue a dialogue with him, especially since you were also cheated on.
I follow a rule of thumb to never have an online conversation with a guy that I wouldn't mind having in front of my husband. It keeps things honest and way above board.
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