A
female
age
22-25,
*oManyQuestions01
writes:I have posted once before, and I found the replies very helpful. I'd like to know if it's normal for my boyfriend and I to have serious talks about the future, such as marriage? We've been together for just over a month, but the conversations don't seem awkward or anything. He's trusted me with a ton, and even though he swears he hates talking about his feelings with people he shares them with me. I'd just like to know if it's normal for us to have such serious conversation with each other? All answers are appreciated, thanks!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (5 October 2013):
Hello again. If he is intending becoming a Navy seal, that would probably mean going away for weeks or months of end in his career, and so if that eventuates, it would mean a lot of time spent on your own.
And before that, depending on what college he goes to, it might be in a different state from you.
If you are not living on the coast, it is possible or very likely, that he would have to do his naval college training in a coastal state, because that's where the ships would be moored.
I am not trying to be a downer on you, but more just keeping things in perspective about how things would most likely pan out for you.
In any case, if you still both feel the same way in 1 or 2 years time from now, love will probably find a way to make it last - even if there is some distance between you then.
I wish you both well.
A
female
reader, SoManyQuestions01 +, writes (5 October 2013):
SoManyQuestions01 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the input everyone. I understand that we need to take time, and we're not talking about getting married fresh out of high school or anything. We're just toying around with the idea of it, to see how it sounds/feels. We've both considered our futures, we both have a career idea, and I've chosen a college and he's looking for one. We feel strongly about each other, and even if, as you say, it's not love at this point, it may develop into it. Both of us understand the sacrifices taken to settle down, and we're not rushing into a marriage. I simply used marriage as an example, for we talk about that, as well as our individual careers we're hoping to build for ourselves. iAmHereToHelpYou- he plans on becoming a Navy Seal, while I plan on going to college for veterinary sciences. As I mentioned above, he hasn't yet decided on a college, while I have. Thanks again for your views!!
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A
female
reader, KB21  +, writes (3 October 2013):
yes this is conpletely normal. i had 2 serious relationships when i was in my teens i was even engaged for a short period of time. love can feel quite intense when you first experience it. enjoy it while it lasts but dont expect too much from these conversations.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (1 October 2013):
 I'm not sure most couples in the age range you give are talking about marriage with each other, but just because you're in the minority doesn't make it wrong or bad. As long as you both are comfortable with the direction your conversations take, talk about whatever you'd like and enjoy knowing that you're in the company of someone who you get along with so well. Best wishes :)
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (1 October 2013):
Hi there. Sometimes if two people have a great rapport with each other, they might feel as though they have known each other for a lifetime.
And it is possible to feel that way about someone.
At such a very young age - you have stated 13 to 15 years old here - there are many many years ahead for you both, to think about such things as marriage, kids, a mortgage etc.
You are still barely young teenagers, and probably still going to school I suppose, and so there are other things to also be thinking about, which are important.
Your futures, for one.
And your school studies is an important step in moving towards happy futures and finding work etc.
A serious romance now, could well affect your studies and his in a very negative way, if anything goes wrong - like you have an argument.
Why not say to him can "we take things slowly for now," and then just see how things go in another years time from now, and if you still both feel the same way.
You both have your whole lives ahead of you, and there is plenty of time to thing about all the serious things like marriage.
In a few more years when you have both left school, you may want to travel - either of you might want to.
And so if you were married by the time you were both 20, you wouldn't be able to travel, because you would be paying off a mortgage and perhaps having a baby as well.
You both need to be very careful what you wish for.
There is no need to rush into the idea of being married and settling down.
And it is a HUGE step for anyone to take, at any age.
So for this reason, you both need to be really ready for that to happen.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 October 2013):
Sure, it's normal, but I'd say it falls into the same category as talking about winning the lottery. It's fun, but the odds of you two getting married are about one in a million.
Talking about marriage after dating a month is a sign of immaturity too. After a few more relationships you'll see that. If you don't, you may want to consciously slow yourself down a little.
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