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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've always been a shy girl and as the years have gone by i've realised that i also have social anxiety. The anxiety makes in near impossible for me to go out to bars or clubs because i can't handle being around so many people. I think that maybe i might come across as either stuck up or cold because i'm very quiet around people i don't know.I also get depressed and tearful quite easily when i'm alone. I never cry infront of people and keep a lot of things bottled up inside. I only have a few people that i would call friends and i hardly ever go out at the weekend drinking or clubbing. I feel so lost and like there's no point in being here anymore. I hate my job and am paranoid that everybody secretly hates me. There was one coworker who i had talking about me yesterday and even though i know that she gossips about everyone it still hurts me, especially as she's nice to my face.Another thing happened today that made me feel like a loser. I was supposed to be meeting up with a guy and i had to rearrange our plans but still said i was free today and we could still meet. Then he text me and told me he couldn't so i automatically think to myself i'm an idiot. It was my fault because i changed plans at the last minute and when he told me he was sorry about having to cancel all i texted back was "Ok. No worries". I can't even send a decent text message without sounding like a social retard. He didn't reply and i don't blame him. I've been told i'm attractive and i;m also still young (24) but i really feel like i'm never going to have a boyfriend because i'm too scared to be myself. I've only ever had sexual relationships which made me feel bad.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 January 2012):
 You need to gain confidence in yourself. You are feeling so down and low because you are dragging yourself down. You are shy, well that's okay because plenty of people are shy. But you refuse to put yourself out there to try and change that. You need to make yourself go out and about. Be positive take it in small steps. Set yourself small daily goals, simple things like saying hello to a stranger or asking someone how there day is going. Just take it in small steps and start going out with friends more. You need to learn to open up and be yourself. Again in small steps just talk to your friends, go out with them, have a LAUGH. As for this woman at work, honey believe me everyone on this planet has came across a person like this who is two faced, you just cannot allow yourself to take it so personally. You know what she is like so just ignore her, or better still stand up for yourself so that people know they cannot mess with you. If you want stand up for yourself nobody else will. As for this man, well you where negative from the start. If you are going to be negative about yourself then so is he. You need to think positive. Instead of writing small replies show him you care, you could have asked him was he able to reschedule. Show him you cared by telling him you where looking forward to going out with him and that you hope you can both go out soon. It is not hard to write these things down in a message it just takes some time to think about it. Give him the benefit of the doubt instead of telling yourself that he couldn't meet up because it was all your fault and you are this and that. Stop putting yourself down, if you don't stop doing this then everyone else will put you down. Time to be positive, stop mopping about feeling sorry for yourself and put yourself out there. It is a new year make it a new start for you. Go have a make over or a hair cut or just do something to make yourself feel good about you. Join a class or take up a hobby and live your life. It will all come together if you work hard and push yourself. Good luck
A
female
reader, malletchick76  +, writes (9 January 2012):
 well if you are sure you have social anxiety, i would see a counselor or therapist just to talk things out. doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you if you do seek professional help, you're just smart for getting it asap.
on another note, it helps if you exercise. i was feeling very down about myself as well, then i started fast walking and jogging again, i am genuinely happier and i feel better about myself because my physical image has improved too.
also, please take things in stride, understand that many of these issues are beyond your control ( the dude u mentioned). Tell yourself "it's okay that i feel this way, but it'll end soon enough" or "it's not my fault, things will work out". You have to believe it. it helps.
Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012): http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-do-you-say-when-a-guy-cancels.html
I think its times to head to the family doctor to get some blood work done as well as other tests. Some of the symptoms sound like you could have a hyper/hypo throid dysfunction, Celiacs, or something other disease. So rule those options out First.
Secondly, to address the anxiety, talk to the Doctor and maybe you can get a prescription as well as a consult to see a Therapist.
To address your anxiety, irrational fears, emotional ups and downs.
You didn't sound like a social retard so stop that nonsense. You need to beat the self pity kick you are on and a Therapist can better address what it is that is going on and if you need extensive therapy or will suggest ways to improve your confidence.
But all of this stems from fears which tends to be more inner self/noggin realted.
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