A
female
age
36-40,
*lsie32
writes:I'm currently in a relationship, but like all it has some issues. Is it normal to feel some jealously towards your boyfriend's friends and family? I feel really bad about it, but I just feel rejected sometimes. For example, I live with him and he never has the courtesy to let me know when someone is coming over and that really bothers me, because I have other plans and they get ruined. Also, when I'm out with him and his friends or family he speaks in his native language with them and they leave me out of the conversation and most of the times they will even make a whole plan without me knowing and that really pisses me off. He has some sleazy friends that he considers family and treats them like it and I’m suppose to too. I feel jealous sometimes, because he treats his sister like she's a queen and his nice like a princess and he always cares about what they need, which is great, but it makes me feel bad, because he treats me like I'm worthless. His sister is moving in with us and he told me that I better take care of my stuff, because his sister is not cleaning after me. That’s so mean, because every time she stays with us she makes a huge mess along with her lil "princess" and I have to clean up after them! BUT for some reason he doesn't see that! He complains if I don’t something and if I do it he complains, because it’s not to his ideal of what is perfect. I’m just so tired of his attitude! When I confront him he calls me a psycho and says maybe you want a wuss for a boyfriend. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t like anyone in his life anymore. He feels that he has the need to take care of everyone, except for me. His younger brother was living with us for a year and he never made an effort to get a job and his girlfriend practically moved in too in a one bedroom apartment and took up the whole living area and slept all day and stayed up and made noise all night, and ate everything, meanwhile I had to work, but my boyfriend never thought anything of it. I don’t even know what to tell him anymore, he won’t listen to me. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): By the information given.. he is selfish and is not empathetic towards your feelings... emottionally is taking a toll on you and is not fair... you need somebody that will respect you.. good luck
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (3 February 2011):
Hi there. I believe that he is taking you for granted.
Perhaps, it's a good idea if you called it quits, as there doesn't seem much of a reason to stay with him.
All I am hearing here, is that he seems to put everyone else before you and your needs.
And when you try to say something about it, he calls you names. He is treating you with a total lack of respect.
Also, speaking in his own language to his friends and family, shows a complete disregard for your feelings. Surely, he must know that you would be feeling left out of things. It's not fair to you.
Don't put up with it. You deserve better.
Do you have much stuff there at your apartment? Because if you don't have much, you could pack it all up (when your boyfriend is out), and move out. Is there somewhere else you could live - how about your parents? Are they close to you?
If it was me, I would definitely not be tolerating it anymore. It appears he won't change, nor does he want to, so with that in mind, I feel you have no other option, but to leave. Don't even tell him. Just let him get home from work one day, and all your stuff - and you - are gone!
He deserves it. And you deserve much better than this situation you are in. You've put up with it for way too long.
If you decide to have the guts to leave him, once you have left, don't try to call or text him. Just leave it.
Good luck and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, mselu08 +, writes (3 February 2011):
The only thing I can come up with is that maybe it's a cultural thing for him to put his family first? But that gives him no right to treat you badly. Him calling you "psycho" and that you need a wuss for a boyfriend hits very close to home for me. My fiance tells me the same thing. You are not psycho. He tries to tear you down to make you thing you're acting crazy. I'm sorry but they don't change. I am working on breaking off my engagement because of the same reason. It's hard and it hurts, but it's better to hurt now and get over it than drag it out and hurt for the rest of your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): if i were you i'd hate him not his family he's the one treating you like crap and he's not gonna stop doing it, I suggest you get a new boyfriend.
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