A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was dating my ex boyfriend in which i was engaged too for about 2 and a half years. We have a kid together and a few months after he was born my ex started getting addicted to pills and he became violent towards me infront of our 3 month old son and he would break things in our house and walk out. About 3 months ago we broke up and i started dating some other guy. My ex told me he wanted to be with me and that he woud go get some help in which he did. The other night he stopped by and said he wanted to work things out and that he loves me and would never do that agian. He blamed the pills for his actions. He said that he did not want to date anyone else and he wanted to be a family. My current boyfriend hates him and doesnt like him he said if i went back to him that he would go back and do the same thing. I just believe that my ex has changed because never in the time we dated has he hit me or even cussed at me up intill he got hooked on the pills. He has been through alot and he lost his mom to suiside and his dad is abusive. We do have a age difference hes 30 and im 21 im not sure if that has to do with anything or not?? I love him and want to work things out but i am confused and i dont want to hurt my current boyfriend who knows i still have feelings for my ex.. My son is now 6 months old and i want him to be around his father and want to have a family with the man i still love and think bout but again im really confused.. please help.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Hmmmmm??? Thats a hard call. I was with an abusive man for 6 years and finally got out. They always say they will change and most dont. Yes you need to break up with your current boyfried cuz your just not being fair to him and yes give your ex one more chance but be very cautious. It may seem great at first but the first little sign of abuse get the hell out. That means he wont change....... Life is too short so go with what your heart tells you to do, dont string along the current boyfriend....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): When a long term serious relationship ends, we really do need to take time to grieve the loss of the relationship, reflect, learn, grow, then after some time pick ourselves up and take the risk again. It sounds like you did not have 'closure' with your ex. Based on the information you have given, my suggestion would be that you breakup with your current boyfriend. Start to 'date' your ex and take things very slowly. Make the 'boundaries' of your relationship very clear all the way. Communication being the key. Taking the relationship slowly, see how things work out each step of the way.... it may work out... and it may not...but at least you will know, and your son deserves that chance. If there is ever any sign of violence towards you or 'things'... then you should leave, never look back, and know for certainty that you made the right choice. I left my boyfriend and took my ex back after he promised a lot of chances.... for the sake of my kids. It didn't work out for me but at least I knew for sure. The boyfriend got over me and married someone else. I have a neice who took her ex back (he had been unfaithful and violent) and things have worked out for them. They have had another child and are amazingly happy... years later. So...it may work out for you...it may not.... my suggestion is also based on the fact, that it sounds to me like you love your ex and you want it to work out...you are just afraid that it won't. Let go of the fear....it just might work out wonderfully!!
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