A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a male, 18, and still a virgin but all of my friends aren't. I'm afraid that i will be made fun of for being a virgin if they ever find out. Is it normal to be a virgin at 18?
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female
reader, anon642  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 Hey like many others have already said, id just like to say;
Dont worry about other people, im 18 and female, and im a virgin.
But i really dont care, i have a boyfriend and i couldnt be happier.
All my friends have boyfriends and have had sex, and they all know im a virgin and it doesnt bother us.
(It may be different for lads, but heck, if your friends arent in relationships and are just saying; ''yeah me and that girl from the club the other night went back to hers'' And this they are claiming to be their first time, guessing they're lying)
I, myself, think that you should not be bothered, the time will come when you've found someone you truly love and you'll have your first time with her and it'll be very special.
Don't fret over it, when you start adding sex into your life, your dealing with babies and STD's.
So make sure when you do decide to have sex, keep it well wrapped up ;)
Lol.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the honest answers, I appreciate it.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (7 September 2008):
One of the responses put it politely but I'll say it straight: If all of your friends say they have had sex, then some of your friends are liars. And, because they themselves don't know who or what they are, they are using peer pressure to define what they think YOU should be. Don't fall for it - be yourself.
You can do a little research, on the internet or the public library, and uncover the most reliable surveys and research on the subject. It would be an EXCELLENT thing to come back here and post what you discover, but it looks something like this:
- About half the guys your age, maybe a bit more, have had sex.
- About half the guys your age, perhaps a bit less, have NOT had sex.
That's a far cry from "everybody"!
The really interesting information comes from the follow-on questions.
- A significant number of people first have sex between age 21 and 25.
- There are more people who had sex before 18, who either regret that decision or think they were too young, than there are people who first had sex AFTER age 18 and think it was a mistake to wait.
- The relationships of those who first had sex before 18 often break-up within a few weeks after adding sex to the relationship.
I personally recall sitting in my college graduation, watching as my friends' names were called to receive their diploma, and thinking "I'm probably the only guy here who has never been laid!". Well, it wasn't true then but it would be another 5 or 10 years before I realized that. It's not true now, either.
As somebody else suggested, find all the Dear Cupid posts tagged as "virginity questions" and you'll see you are not alone.
You could become a non-virgin quite easily. But it wouldn't amount to much more than masturbating into a vagina, and the unstated part of your question is that this isn't the kind of sex you want. Deep inside, you really value and respect your sexuality and have the character and integrity to hold onto those values.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): I was 15 when I lost my virginity. My boyfriend was apparently 21 when he lost his. I wish I had waited and have a lot of respect for you. Hold out for the right guy and you will be comfortable with it. Its not a race.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): There is no set age limit for these things, kid.
All the same though, I would not go about broadcasting it because as your friends they are honour-bound to make fun of you over this sort of thing. And you would be bound to do it to them. It's the male-bonding code of ethics.
Trust me when I say that it's almost a certainty that at least one or two of those friends are as sex-uninitiated as you are. They just try to make out they are regular lotharios. It's a guy thing.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (6 September 2008):
 Yes, it is absolutely fine. In fact you are the smart one as the defining characteristic of young teenage sex seems to be that it is generally confused and quick sex. You haven't been missing as much as you think.If your virginity in and of itself begins to feel like a burden then you should take steps to deal with it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): Yes very normal. I was until age 20.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (6 September 2008):
Go to the right hand side of this site and click on the tag labelled "virginity."
We have kids that lose it at 13 - mostly complaining about pregnancy scares - and just as many that are waiting for the right person or are worried like you are.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (6 September 2008):
Who cares what is normal! Be proud that one day you will have a very special connection with the woman you love because she will be the only one who you have ever be with.My fiance and I lost our virginities to eachother and it is something that means the world to us.Be proud that you are waiting for that right girl instead of the easy girl!
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A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (6 September 2008):
why should it matter what ur friends think? its ur life, u come into this world alone, u die alone...none of them matter...its ur own choice, u do what makes YOU FEEL right...and do u know how many girls would luv u for being a virgin, i wish there were more guys like u out there..i know men that are virgins and are 25/26..b/c they follow the no sex b4 marriage rule (in Islam) It keeps us: a.) from std's b.) from being perverted c.) from not valuing respecting the opposite sex d.) to keep it exciting and anticipating because u want ur first time to be very special. For some, sex is just a physical act of nature (mostly men who have a lotta sex) for others its meaningful and romantic, an act of love, 2 souls coming together...which do u prefer? the sleezy one or the nice one? ok yea this is coming from a girl, and guys wud think this is "uncool" but i hate peer pressure and I hate society, SCREW SOCIETY....and listen to urself and when ur ready, when u find the one, do it, or else, ur gonna hate it (i know one guy who had sex only once and hated it cuz it was a one nite stand) u wanna lose ur virgiinity and hate it? u wanna have sex cuz ur guy friends think its not cool if ur still a virgin? id say thats a whimpy excuse to have sex, a real man would wait...in my opinion, i respect u for waiting...and im 22 so good luck:) be wise!
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A
male
reader, pathleasttaken +, writes (6 September 2008):
Yes it is normal. It is better to wait.until your in a comitted relationship. It isAwesome to wait for the right person and become the right person in a relationshipThe BestJohn
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