A
female
age
41-50,
*ucky7425
writes:I am 26 years old and have been married for 3 years. I love my husband very much and never want to be without him, but I am feeling very guilty and confused. I recently ran into my high school boyfriend/first love and found myself thinking about him alot after seeing him. I even think about calling him and getting together to catch up. I just want to be friends with him and keep in touch from time to time. Is this wrong to do to my husband if he doesn't know about it? I think he would be very jealous and angry if he knew, so I wouldn't tell him if I did see my ex. Is it normal to still have feelings for your first love? What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (24 February 2007):
 Yes, there is always the 'what if' factor with a first love. But do you know what....? They fart in bed, scratch themselves when they think no one is looking and have death-breath in the morning too!! And we all get to 'that' point in a relationship at some time.
Don't ruin what you have. As said by Dr John, don't go unlocking forbidden doors...it is so not worth the pain and hurt it could potentially cause.
A
female
reader, luvme247 +, writes (24 February 2007):
 I think that it is wrong if your husband doesn't know about it. I think that if you feel that you have to hide it from your husband, then you have other intentions with your ex that you really should not pursue. I think that contacting him at this time isn't a good idea unless you wanted to catch up as a friend... with your husband by your side. Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (24 February 2007):
 It is not uncommon to have long lasting feelings for someone that you thought you experienced your first "true love" with but I am afraid I would have to agree with ask Eve on this subject. Don't put yourself in a situation where you can unlock forbidden doors.
Include your husband in this contact. I was e-mailing a woman who I grew up with from my first day in school all the way through high school. I was always telling my wife what she had to say and even showing her the e-mails. This is always the best way to keep things on the up and up and out in the open. It is far too easy to get into a bad situation if you allow it. Doc.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (24 February 2007):
 I wouldn't call him on the phone as that's too personal, especially as it is you making the first move here. If you were going to get in touch with him at all, I would only do it with the consent of your husband. Let him see what you've written before sending it and let him see the reply. That way everything's above board. If you start communicating with him again without your husband knowing then it will only lead to problems and I'm sure you're only too aware of the problems I mean.
Actually MEETING with him would be a no no, unless you took your husband with you. I'm not saying you would do anything you shouldn't but at least temptation isn't in your way and your husband won't feel hurt and resentment if he ever found out. "Better safe than sorry..."
If you don't want to take my advice and think you can handle it your own way then go ahead, just remember... "play with fire and you're bound to get burned!"
Eve
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