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female
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anonymous
writes:Is it normal to not like sex? i mean i know its not normal in that most people DO enjoy sex but is it anything to be worried about that i really dont like it? It feels far too intimate and like it is a complete invasion of my privacy. i'm 22, have had a few sexual partners, have never suffered any kind of sexual abuse and love my boyfriend with all of my heart, but i just dont like sex. I get absolutely no physical pleasure from it whatsoever and it makes me very uncomfortable emotionally, its my body and my personal area - i dont like someone else invading it! and i feel like i could cry afterwards. Whats that all about? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Kohjakza  +, writes (15 September 2007):
very simply... what is sex without love? I have been celibate for 6 years because I only like to make love. A woman needs much more stimulation then a man so mention it to him. He will make the effort to please you if he loves you. Hugs girl as you are strong, and capable, so use it!.
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (14 September 2007):
I suggest you try to figure out why you have these abnormal thoughts. You may need the help of a therapist. In the meantime fake it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): I'm EXACTLY the same way. It's not normal i know that for sure but how to get over it I have no idea! For me it's also the added dread of becoming pregnant no matter how much birth control is involved! I suppose it depends on how much exactly it's effecting your life. If it's a huge deal then councelling could be helpful, if not & you're happy (which i suspect you're not or else you wouldnt be writing on this site) then don't worry about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone, its not so much the physical thing that bothers me its just that - sorry if this is too graphic - but its MY body and i dont like someone else being in it! i love my boyfriend, i am so attracted to him and the chemistry between us is amazing, he is perfect for me. i'm just uncomfortable with the idea of sex its not that he is not good in bed. its just being naked with someone, and being THAT intimate with someone does not appeal to me and makes me feel a little bit sick. im so confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Do not worry yourself. Everyone get's too a point in every relationship were they start too loose the lust or the satisfaction of having sex. You have answered one major question and that you LOVE your Boyfriend and if your partner really loves you, he will respect you for your decision. The best advice I can give too you is too talk about it with your guy and just be honest too him. Otherwise if you start putting it off and making excuse's of not having sex, he might start too think you are cheating on him. He will understand that's if he really loves you. Other people will say" try different techiques postions, get another bloke etc". This wont help it will make you more confused. Trust yourself, believe in yourself and be honest with yourself. At the end of the day you no one has the right too control you or force you too do things that you do not want too do.Take care .
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Do you dislike the actual penetration? Are you unable to orgasm period? If both of these are the case then I think your BF should please you first orally and start with something small and shallow...you may actually like it. Maybe your BF is a horrible lover, and that is the problem. Try pleasuring yourself with a toy to see if you are ABLE to get off that way. Then you can see if it is him or you...
Best of luck, but I think you should get some help with this issue, dont just drop it.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (13 September 2007):
 In my opinion, what you have described is not normal. I would suggest counseling at this point, there must be something going on that makes you feel somehow shameful and violated after your boyfriend makes love to you. It could be that you and your b/f are more "friends" than lovers, and therefore the act of sex is repulsive to you, kind of like having sex with your brother. Gross! It has to be coming from somewhere and you'd probably do yourself and your b/f a favor by figuring it out and getting it resolved. Maybe you're just in the wrong relationship. Good luck.
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female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (13 September 2007):
 I think the worry of having an unsatisfying sex, is taking over your mind.im sorry if that sounds too forward.
Your obviously tense about the whole thing, which isnt abnormal, although you are still young at 22, and you have plenty of time to try new things.
I bet your problem isnt that you dont want and like sex, but that your too scared to enjoy it.
Be adventurous. Best advice- Find something, anything, that will turn you on, theres always something, it could be you and your partner in the bath together, giving eachother nude massages, fancy dress, adult toys, porn, the list is endless.
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