A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, I used to use this site a lot when i was in a dd/lg relationship when I was 17-19. Since then I went of to University and i'm now 21 and about to graduate. I met someone else, who wasn't 35 years older than me (just 10) and who wanted a stable relationship. we started going out and we have been together for the last 2 years. we have plans and a life together.the problem is that I have a sort of 'odd' sexuality. I am always falling in (unrequited) love with significantly older men and I absolutely love grey hair, I am so attracted to old men even though not may people know this. anyway, it is embarrassing and weird but I feel like I can never be as turned on as I am with significantly older men, e.g. 50+. And I am worried that that I can't stay in a relationship that isn't sexually fulfilling. I also worry that even though I have never made a move on anyone else and have rejected people because I want to stay faithful that at the end of the day my wandering mind means it's cruel for me to stay in a relationship with my current b/fI would just like to know your thoughts regarding this, is it normal to be like this/have these thoughts at 21thankyou x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 May 2014):
 you say "falling in love" but I wonder if you mean that you just find them attractive.. which is normal. you like what you like.
I'm in my 50s and find young men in their late 20s early 30s the most attractive. Finding them attractive does not mean I want to date them or love them or be with them... they are simply eye candy to me.... and yet my husband is 13 years younger than I am.
You ask if it's wrong to stay with your boyfriend.... not if you love him and don't think of leaving him.
If you want to be with others, then yes you should leave him but if all you are doing is struggling with the fact that you are human and find other people attractive then I do not think there is anything you need to worry about.
A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (23 May 2014):
 Forgot to mention, when I was 21 I was dating a 48 year old woman. We went to the Theatre and saw Hamlet, etc.
So, just because you are young there is always things to have in common.
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (23 May 2014):
Hi,
You're attracted to to who you like, and you happen to like older men.
Is there anything wrong with that? No.
I think other people will have issues, but then don't live your life through other peoples ideals of normal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2014): I do wonder what conversational common interests you'd have with 50+ year old men to sustain a long term relationship as anything more than sexual, but you are attracted to whoever takes your fancy and there's nothing wrong with that.Do I think you could have a future with someone if that age? It's unlikely, but not impossible. It may be near impossible if you want children because they would be nearing grandparent age instead of having the energy to raise children, but that's something you can decide in a few years time, or sooner if it gets serious with any of them.Did you say you had a relationship with a man 35+ years older than you when you were 17 - 19? That I would strongly disagree with and severely question his motives - something you will still have to be wary of from the point of view that they may be with you as a young, "play thing" - just like they will probably wonder if you're with them for money and gifts. However, you were still a child and I don't agree with the age of consent being 16 here because it validates dodgy men sleeping with children.I don't think your attraction is wrong, just be honest with yourself and others, then you'll be fine.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (23 May 2014):
 Sweetheart, you like what you like. I like what I like. Each person likes what they like. I don't see anything wrong with the fact that you are attracted to older men. People may say that you have daddy issues, but so what! Everyone on this planet has issues. Don't seek approval from other people for your preferences. Give approval to yourself and embrace all that you are.
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