A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi, i think i have social anxiety and also some depression, what should i do about it? i get really anxious in certain situations, for example going into town clubbing and just generally large group events, im not so bad on the town thing anymore, i still get nervous but not as bad. But recently my mate has invited me to his GF's bbq over the weekend theres about 20 people attending and ive blagged my way out of going, because i just started to over think it straight away and got my self nervous and wound up it was easier and less stressfull to say no ive got other plans... is this somthing i can speak to the doctor about and what will they likely so for anxiety? as for the depression, sometimes i go through kinda like mood swings, some days i feel awesome but most days i feel down, that nothing goes my way, un-loved that sort of stuff, is this also somthing i should go see my gp about? how would i go about it? because i feel shy discussing it.and last but not least this is irrelevent to the depression and anxiety, in the local shop near where i work is a beautiful girl who has just started working there, shes obviously a college student working part time, today i caught her eying me up and gave me a smile when she realised i clocked her, now just thinking about trying to chat her up makes me feel sick with nerves , what shall i do?!? everyone at work has said go get her number and shes just your type all that blah blah i meen how would i go about this? thanks for reading and thanks in advance if you reply
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2014): Hi, please go and explain to your Dr how you are feeling. Its very common to have some form of depression and anxiety about social situations. Your Dr can give you medication for the depression and advice, they can also refer you to the appropriate service for your anxiety if necessary.You are very young really and you do need to go and sort this out before it gets out of hand and really takes over your life. I've had depression and social anxiety all my adult life and I'm only just addressing it now as I'm not really living my life to the full because of it. I've been put on some antidepressants which I'm finding I'm able to stick with as I've always given them up before they've worked due to the side effects which can be unpleasant for the first few weeks or longer, but the benefits do outweigh the side effects. I'm also going on a course of 1 to 1 counselling which will include cognitive behaviour therapy. In my case I've been hiding behind all kinds of things all my life instead of taking life as it comes and getting out there and enjoying myself.I hope you follow through with dealing with these things right now so that you can improve your life in the future.As for the girl, you've had excellent advice here about sorting yourself out first before thinking of girlfriends. Good luck and stick with the treatment your Dr advises, you'll be glad you did.
A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (23 May 2014):
Hi,
I think we aren't really the best place to ask about mood disorders or problems with mental health issues.
I say, get yourself to the GP and talk about your feelings and what happens when you go to these places.
I have a problem with large cities, and the reason was I got mugged at gun point in the US when I was on holiday. So it could be from a bad experience or it could be you don't like crowds.
But, either way speak to your family doctor.
Good luck and hope all turns out well.
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A
female
reader, Elle1309 +, writes (23 May 2014):
There are a range of anxiety disorders. Go to your doctor and speak to them more people suffer from this than you think. Your doctor will most likely offer 3 different solutions. First is self help, you will be given a handout with information and questions to offer as a way of self help therapy and getting to the bottom of why you act in this way. Secondly, you can have cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling, where they can help you change the way you think. Last of all they may offer beta blockers or anti-depressants. Your doctor can help you decide what decision is best. You should focus on getting yourself better first before worrying about this girl, there will be other girls out there but you need to look after yourself first before you add extra stress to your situation.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 May 2014):
Go see your doctor (GP) and get a referral to a therapist. It could be a mood disorder, it could be a mild depression. The fact that you are avoiding social situation means you need to get some help. Because anyone can tell you JUST GO to these events (like the BBQ).
Focus on taking care of YOU first, then the pretty girls :)
And don't think your GP will think you are silly or stupid - and don't think you can "wait it out" that it will pass, or you will "outgrow" this... SEE your GP. JUST DO IT.
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