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female
,
anonymous
writes: is it normal for a guy in a "friends-with-benefits" situation to be jealous of another guy you might see? i recently told him about guy 2, who all i have done with is make out, and he was saying stuff like "well you can go have sex with..whats his name again?" when i had just told him, and he was acting all weird, and trying to make me jealous by saying he'll find someone else to hook up with too. i dont get it, this guy tells me we have the "perfect" situation, so why does he do this? he also brushes back my hair, constantly tells me how he wants to know whats in my head...am i just looking too much into it? the truth is, im happy with how things are. i dont really see him in a boyfriend way, so i dont want to continue if he's thinking something else. sorry so long, but thank you.
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female
reader, mystic_helper +, writes (20 September 2006):
friends with benefits is never no strings as friends have an emotional bond. he has fallen for you and he wants you for himself. guy 2 means he cant have you so yes he is jealous and feels he has a right to be
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2006): You're fooling yourself big time if you think any kind of "friends with benefits" situation will work out without either, or both of you getting hurt.
It is clearly obvious that this guy has more feelings for you than just wanting to occasionally have sex with you, no strings attached.
And, I'd be very surprised if you would be 100% fine if he, tomorrow, found a girlfriend who he found himself to be in love with. You completely sure you wouldn't feel jealous too that another women has him?
When you sleep with your friends like you are doing you will sooner or later end up hurting someone else, or yourself. Read the many hundreds of similar questions posted on this board, it's proof enough to show that these arrangements rarely, if ever, work out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2006): Oops I think you have upset him. He saw you as girlfriend material but you saw him as a friend with benefits.Even if you were to consider having a 'relationship' with this guy, you have broken his trust. I think the kindest thing you can do is end the relationship with him, if he is not what you are looking for. Think about it though how would you feel if he told you he was having amazing sex with another girl as well, would you feel jealous too?
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (20 September 2006):
 Friends with benefits? Ha that made me laugh, sorry, I've never heard it called that before. Are you going to continue having benefits when seeing this or another guy? If he'd found a girlfriend how would you feel? This situation is only of benefit when you're both single and neither have feelings. I think you've already worked it out, he has feelings for you.
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