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female
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anonymous
writes: I met a really nice guy a few months ago, and although it has had it's ups and downs, we get on well. My ex got back in contact about some furniture he had left around mine and wants to come and pick it up. He also has a front door key that he hasn't returned yet. He is coming to pick up the furniture over the weekend, but I don't know if I wnat my present fella there. He actually wants to be there, but I feel uncomfortable about them both being in the same room. My fella says that he wants to give me support, and also to show my ex that things have moved on. My ex and I had lots of breaks ups before, he could be very agressive, physically intimidating, but also charming. He would leave me for hours when we went out and talk to other women, leaving me. He also said that while he was in Uni, he worked as a male escort, but never slep with any of his female clients. He was also seen out with other another woman when we were going out, though I knew who she was. Every one of my friends liked him, but didn't see the bad side.I have talked a lot about this guy to my current fella, who is now saying that I need to put it behind me. He says that he wants to concentrate more on us, and that I should let the past be the past.I would like to meet up for a coffee and a chat, for some closure with this guy, but my current fella thinks that him handing in his key and taking his stuff is closure enough. I would like to keep in some form of contact with him, just to see how he is doing in future. He has suggested keeping in touch, though he made a point of saying that he has not found anyone else yet. What should I do? My current fella says that continuing contact with my ex will make him walk. I am really confused. My current guyisn't my usual type, but it is because he is so different that I like him, but is he being overly jealous by saying that I shouldn't meet up with my ex?
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female
reader, claire_x100 +, writes (20 September 2006):
 Your fella may be jealous, i mean if my bf was you i would be i wouldnt wnat him and his ex. Just put yourself in his shoes and try and understand where hes coming from. Why would you want to keep in contact with your ex he treated you badly, you should show him how strong you are by having ya fella there and leaving it as just returning the key. You have to ask is your ex worth losing your current fella, like you said hes different thats what draws him to you. Just think do you want to go back to the old ways with your ex, or forwards with your new fella. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (20 September 2006):
 I'm afraid I agree totally with your new fella. WHY do you want to keep in contact with him to see how he's doing in the future? You may not get any closure from a chat anyway. It sounds like you still have feelings and want to stay in contact because of that. Otherwise you'd have insisted on getting your key back (which you should do anyway). I feel sorry for the new guy having to listen to you talk about your old guy, but perhaps this is because you are not over him. It's not fair to be with someone if you're thinking of someone else. My guess is you have a romantic notion of what you hope could happen when he comes around, maybe full or regret and apology and words of love? But why, when he didn't treat you with any respect is a mystery to me. Forget about him and get on with your life, but don't use the new guy. Maybe be on your own for a while.
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