A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why does my Husband's ex-wife come around so much? They were ony married for 1 year. I have been with my Husband for 13 years (married for 9) They have a 12 year old Son. She has since re-married and has two kids. My stepson comes over and then goes home to his Moms house and she interigates him on the things that happen in our house, then she goes and blabs our business to My hubby's family, then they ask him questions? Or mention stuff. My hubby's sister post stuff on facebook and she will write alot of comments on pictures like she is still part of the family. Like Comments like "LOL no Invite????" "oh I guess he hasn't changed" I am over reacting. But when is enough enough??? My husband agrees with me but leaves it at that. Why does she do that???
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 February 2012):
 That depends, if deleting her would cause drama I would keep her up but block her feeds/comments.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys all answers were great. One last thing do you guys think I should delete my sister in law from our sons facebook? I really do not want him caught up in the middle or to see stupid stuff that his aunt post. I want to kinda shield him amd keep him innocent. He is 9 years old. He really only has a facebook to play games.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 February 2012):
I would be annoyed too, child or not.
First advice though is if you have family members who post "family-drama" stuff, block or delete them ( or hide their comments) same goes for the ex, don't check out her page unless you want to be in "her" life and have her in "ours". Facebook can create so much hassle and drama when half truths, lies and little tidbits are spread around, best thing to do is rise above it and ignore it.
Sit your husband down and find a compromise. The fact that you two have been together for 13 years means ( I guess) that you have "played" along this long and are finally getting fed up? If so, talk to your husband. Screw whatever the family thinks you and your DH should do, it's YOUR life not theirs.
Kids who's parents are divorced but can behave in a polite and civil manner have less stress and self image problems, as we all know many children of divorce think deep down that THEY are the cause somehow. So I would think of the stepson first.
For the ex to ask her son details, well I don't think it is uncommon at all. It's sort of a morbid curiosity I guess. But if she oversteps it by spreading things around, I would ask your husband to deal with her.
As for your SIL, I think she is bored in her life so she is crating "fun drama" on Facebook to have a semblance of a life. Have pity on her and let it roll of your back, at least you know where her loyalty lies.
Live life, be happy and let all the drama llamas eat their own crap.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (8 February 2012):
 Is it normal? No, but being that she and your husband share a child together, she obviously enjoys pushing your buttons. Let's face it, on some level she probably feels threatened by your presence in her son's life. Her way of building herself up and tearing you down is to gossip about you.
Sadly, it appears to be working as it is causing you undo stress and drama in your life.
What can you do about it? Sadly, you can't really do anything. It's an immature power game she is playing (whether it is intention or out of ignorance remains to be seen) and unfortunately you are the victim. You and your husband should come up with a plan to talk to her and make her realize that she is using her child as a pawn and causing strife. Your man needs to stick up for you.
Ultimately though, is that you'll probably have to grow a thicker "skin". People who play these games rarely change and I suspect as the child gets older, he'll realize he is being played and the pain that you are going through will subside.
Best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Seeing as you have been with her Ex for 13 years I really don't see why she has to still be in your life in any way.
His son is 12 now, but it doesn't mean his Ex has to be involved in your lives, she will always be in the background as the lads Mum but thats all.
Personally I would say to your husband either you speak to her or I do. She has no right to be making any comments about your life or to interrogate her son. As he is aware of your feelings then he should have stopped it years ago and his family should keep their noses out and realise your homelife is none of her or their business
You sure have ALOT of patience
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 How annoying!!! She probably does it because she has been allowed to get away with it. She has no right to make comments and blab about what goes on in your house. That said...it's up to your husband to take the lead here and tell her she isn't welcome in your home now. He has to explain why (coming from his point of view) and has to make her know the decision is his. If he handles it then you will avoid her thinking you have influenced his decision and she will be less likely to get in between you.
Your husband of course needs contact with his son and some things will 'go home' but you are both going to have to be more mindful when he is around.
I am sure it is something that will pass but get your husband to handle it...because she is his problem!!!
Good luck xx
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