A
female
age
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anonymous
writes:My husband is 56 and his porn preference is the Barely Legal porn. He also likes to have us watch it when we make love.I don't want to be a prude or sound like I come from the Victorian era, but is it normal for a man of that age to want to look at that type of porn and magazines.He has an adult daughter from his first marriage. All I can think of is what if it was his daughter in those porn movies...then what would he think.He adores my breasts which are not large but small. He says my breasts make me look younger. I almost feel I should have them made into a plastic mold. He always compliments them. But because he likes the Barely Legal porn which he gets off on I feel that is the reason for liking my breasts so much because the girls in those movies have the smaller breasts which represent youth.I do see him looking at high school girls which is unnerving. I assume guys perv on the young girls. I can't read a man's mind but his facial expressions are all I need to know what he is thinking.Am I being uptight, am I right or wrong in questioning this or should I just let it go.People have told me I am a very patient person with a high tolerance level--more tolerant than they would be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2016): I dont know how to get past the barely legal shit. I love my man very much and enjoy our intimate nights.. Unfortunately there is a but... I get sick inside and angry at the type of porn he watches and how much of it he has stored on his phone..he seems to know this and continues to show no regaurd to how bad it hurts me and sickens my stomache
I dont think i can get past it. I have considered moving on
. again theres the but
.. I love him.
A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (27 August 2014):
Most fellows had a lot of unrequited junior high/high school crushes. I still recall the faces and forms of the pretty classmates who ignored me in my school days, and although my wife is decades younger and far more beautiful than they would be now, early memories of that sort of thing are strange and compelling. And part of those memories is recalling the age he himself was at the time, young, healthy, infinitely virile and completely immortal. Maybe that's the attraction, but it's harmless if he doesn't do anything abut it. Leave an old man his nostalgia.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2014): Grown men get attracted to 18yo girls for the same reason that 18yo girls get attracted to grown men. Evolution.
There is no need to read anything more meaningful into it than that. It doesn't show that men are immature or that girls are more mature for their age. It just proves that everyone's hormones are working correctly. These feelings don't lead to the healthiest relationships for either side. Just the healthiest offspring.
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female
reader, Staceily +, writes (24 August 2014):
 Your husband, not boyfriend. My apologies.
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female
reader, Staceily +, writes (24 August 2014):
I have a hard time ever saying what's normal... What I can say is I have never dated a guy who was into younger girls. It must be a thing since it is in porn, but to the point of your boyfriend needing to watch it to have sex and actually looking at younger girls in public is not okay. My boyfriend has a best friend like this and he creeps everyone out, so I am on the side of it not being 'normal'. He does have a girlfriend his age but he makes too many comments about younger actresses.
You are far more tolerating than I would be. I feel our friend's girlfriend is as well. But only you can say what you are able to deal with and what is okay for you. I think you want us to tell you it's normal and not a big deal so you won't have to be creeped out by it and it will be easier to ignore. Sorry, I personally think it's wrong and pretty gross. And there are plenty of guys with no interest in barely legal girls.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2014): I too tortured myself over this with my ex. Dress it up how you like it still doesn't 'feel' right or settle well in your stomach. For me it was like a cancer eating away at our relationship. Watching my ex give (legally) teen girls the once 'up and down' er no thanks. You really don't have to put up with this in your life. Not all men are attracted to teen girls in the same way not all women are Bieberphiles. Honestly, there is better out there for you. I am with a guy that sees teens as young girls and women over 35 (near to his age and more mature) as the women he finds attractive. It's a natural attraction for him.
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reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 August 2014):
 Normal?Yep! That's the way life goes those fantasies last a lifetime
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2014): You have to be careful who is distributing the porn. If it is foreign; it could be of questionable origin and legal compliance.
If distributed and filmed in the United States; you have little to nothing to worry about; accept whether you really can deal with your husband's chosen taste in porn. It may be better to purchase it at adult-entertainment shops and well-known distributors, than all off the internet.
If he looks and doesn't make any effort to touch or hookup with any young girls, I guess that's just a test of your tolerance-level.
I think your husband knows what he's doing, and keeping it within legal limits and your marriage. I hope you don't discuss details of your sex-life with too many "people."
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2014): OP Barely Legal is just a part of the 'Teen' genre of porn and that genre is the most popular. You could be talking about Hustler's offshoot magazine or anything labelled that really, and no it's obviously not illegal.
All barely legal means is they'll be 18 as opposed to 18-21 or that look that age.
Is it normal? Yes it is. OP there's a reason women dress up like school girls or cheerleaders for Halloween parties or when role playing at home, it's the same reason women are obsessed with staying young forever. According to everything in society youth is beauty and age is decay.
Even regular movies aimed at men there's always eye candy that age jumping around in bikinis, you're very rarely going to find a middle-aged woman as the love interest of a protagonist in any kind of movie that isn't made specifically for middle-aged women.
Regardless of whether people think it's wrong or not most men do find women that age to be attractive. Personally I have found all kinds of women between the ages of 18-50 attractive, from Emma Thompson to Emma Watson.
That said if you are uncomfortable with it, then normal or not you don't have it as part of your relationship. You don't have to allow it be part of your sex life.
It also depends what you mean by "perv", if you consider checking out a beautiful woman to be "perving" then you're in for a shock we all do it. Most of us are just smart enough to do it around other guys and not our partner.
If he's being disrespectful and staring at other women around you then that's not really acceptable.
You're not wrong in questioning it but you're asking the wrong questions and to the wrong people. The real questions you should be asking are "is this a problem for me, is this something I can look past"?
So decide for yourself whether this is a problem for you. Me personally it's no issue, the same as my wife liking interracial porn is no issue. I don't have to "tolerate" anything because to me it's fine.
Normal is relative, we all make the rules as to what we consider normal. Many consider older men non-sexual and that they can only find women their age attractive or they're dirty pervs.
In your case it seems to be causing too much insecurity for you, so it's probably best to get rid of it as part of your relationship either by asking him to stop, be more discreet and keep you out of it or if all else fails by walking away.
Follow your own need here, OP, not our opinions. Don't let anyone else convince that is or is not a problem. If you're okay with it, fine, if not then deal with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2014): Whoa! EEEEEWWWWW!!! As my nieces would say!
What you described sounds really creepy. I'm inclined to agree you may have a high tolerance-level.
I don't know about "Barely Legal Porn," and can only ask how and where he gets it? I think from what the name implies, that the models appear younger than they are...otherwise, he can't obtain actual child-pornography through legal distribution. If he has this trash on his hard-drive, authorities can trace the internet for people who purchase it by illegal means, and will make a bust.
The minimum age is 18 in the United States.
I can assume they push it to the limit on those videos. Seems the worms that make this garbage try to appeal to the lowest and sickest of tastes. There is a required legal disclaimer that there is proof of record that the models and actors are of legal age. If the legal statutes and compliance are not displayed, that trash is illegal!!!
I'd say, do what you feel is right if this is his taste and you can't deal with it. I'm no advocate for, or against porn. I don't use or need it.
I just don't think men or women should be threatened by it; or feel they have to live up to characters and models in it. For some it is entertainment, and for others it is disgusting.
If you sense or know that he is getting this trash illegally, do something about it. Turn him into authorities before they find their way to him and your home. You do not want to be present during a bust. Even if all his porn is totally legal, you are apparently losing your tolerance; and you should make your feelings known. Why wouldn't you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2014): I have the same issue with my boyfriend he likes to flirt with 21 year old girls and watches porn , not sure if I'm gonna dump him over it yet I just find is a little creepy a 40 year old man likes 21 year olds , I mean I guess men are attracted to young females but thier is an age when it becomes creepy and if you are not comfortable watching porn during sex with him don't do it ! Bottom line do what makes you happy and if his porn addiction is too much move on or ask him to get help with it. good luck to you.
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