A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My Boyfriend keeps his ex wifes tooth brush and toiletries . Is this normal ????? We have been dating 4 months and he has been divorced for 3 years I have been staying over and he asked me to keep some stuff at his place and it is driving me nuts seeing her old razor, tooth brush, comb even pill bottle for herpes !!! I asked him about these things and was pissed about the herpes meds I asked if she had herpes and he said he didn't know what the pills were he never knew anything about the pills . I find this hard to believe . The bottle was dated 2011 and it was his wife. I asked him to get tested but he dosen't seem concerned about it !! I'm freaking out ! The meds were called Valtrex and I know it can also be used to treat coldsores so I'm really hoping for that, I just feel he is lying about not knowing if she had herpes or coldsores . I asked him to get rid of her things and he did but he had to do it twice because I still found a box of makeup and earwax remover stuff so he cleaned it again while I was taking a shower and asked if I wanted some of her bars of soap . I wanted to scream! Then he asked if he could keep an old ear wax remover , I was like can't you get a new one ? what the heck ! Am I crazy ? I just thought that was gross . Anyways am I over reacting ? I find this behavior odd like he is keeping her old stuff around because he still loves her or something ? He says that's not the case and he just forgot to clean his bathroom but this man keeps his house immaculately clean so I find this hard to believe. I'm going to get myself checked for herpes and his lack of concern bothers me. Any thoughts on this ? Am I overreacting? I know his ex wife left him just packed up and moved out while he was at work and he says she had an affair that has to hurt but he has had a serious relationship since her he said so I dunno ? thanks for reading my rant any thoughts would help
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affair, at work, divorce, ex-wife, herpes, his ex, moved out, the pill Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): No -its odd. Get checked and then I would cool things off for a while until you are sure you want to be involved with someone that keeps his ex's toiletries. Photos and perhaps some holiday trinkets I can understand - they are associated with happy times. But toiletries??... yuk no no no ...that would / should be the first stuff to go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2014): I had to laugh, not really the old romantic memory of love not wanting to be forgotten.
Herpes medicine,Ear wax remover,old razor, bars of soap and a scabby old worn tooth brush. Really!
He even offered you her soap :)
Bet if she knew this junk was there, she would be the first to bin it, he just does not see the need to bin perfectly good soap, and herpes med...just in case, let's hope he does not need to use the ear wax remover.
Lighten up, people's relationship footprints don't just dissapear overnight, come on, 4 months and your in his cabinets.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 August 2014):
 Yes, DO get yourself tested.
As for him holding on to all her stuff, that IS NOT normal. Maybe if he had been widowed I could sorta understand having her stuff around, but they divorced.
The fact that you felt you HAD to tell him to get rid of me I find a little.. unnerving to be honest. You two have dated 4 months and you feel entitled to boss him around in his own home? I mean I get that NO ONE wants to look at their partner's ex-wife herpes meds, but.... I just don't feel it's your place to demand he gets rid of ALL that remind YOU and maybe him, of her. Not after 4 months of dating.
On another note, I would not feel entirely sure he was that clueless about the meds, but I guess it's possible - nor do I think he is really OVER her if he keeps all those little day-to-day things around. Tossing them won't make a difference, if THAT is the case.
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