A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Should a man you are seeing send a Valentines?Hi - well my guy has never really been Mr Romantic and he does send Xmas and birthday cards - but last year there was no Valentine and this year he said he hasn't got round to getting me a card yet (so probably won't) - so should I just accept this as a man's general behaviour or am I just being too fussy? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): If you are out of your teens and outside the USA, then you need to drop a hint that you like the idea. That's only fair --- many women get annoyed at the commercial tackiness of valentine's day; others feel unappreciated if no effort is made. The man is in a no-win position.
You need to help him out by dropping a hint as to your attitude. Of course, someone slicker would have already have sounded out your views. But slick people come with other problems.
Next year, when he knows your views, is an entirely different matter...
A
male
reader, called Steve +, writes (11 February 2010):
 I dont think there are rights or wrongs about this.
Its very subjective - afterall, it was created by the card companies to generate sales. In my view, the last 12 months have been very difficult for my Wife and I, I have spent many many nights away from home missing her and my children behind whilst I travel overseas etc....
We have an agreement that V Day is a waste of money, however this year I will be taking out my Wife & Children for V Day just because I want to - not because I feel pressured to.
I think you should make an effort constantly, not just for one day per year! Why make an effort for one day when the other 360+ days you can waste it all?
Your choice!!! LOL
Steve
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A
female
reader, rgreen120 +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Thanlfully i have never found myself in this situation. But if you apreciate romantic gestures, maybe you should just tell him?? Just say, this is what would make you happy. Because you would like him to show you he loves you. Actions speak louder than words. Though, some people are just not romantic, and dont see the point in it. Maybe he is one of these people?
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A
male
reader, goodguy11  +, writes (11 February 2010):
Well I see you want something I guess to feel loved and appreciated. I mean he should at least give you a card for Valentine's day unless he has something else up his sleeves to give you. You never know he might surprise you with something. But I know you at least want to know he's making an effot to make you feel special. On the other hand he might be a typical guy thinking that it's just a piece of paper saying I love you so probably not a big deal to him if he gives you a card or not. So I would wait to see if he does something for you. If nothing happens then maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you feel and would like for him to do things for you once in a while. But don't just accept it or else you'll be the unhappy one.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): No, it is not a man's general behaviour.
When a couple have been together for a while, it is easy to stop making such of an effort at the relationship. You should tell him that just because you've been together for x amount of months or years, you would still find it really romantic and thoughtful if he could occasionally do something spontaneous to show you he still cares for you.
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