A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so 2 years ago I moved back home and decided to try out the internet dating deal. I met a few nice guys but nothing really went anywhere, except with one guy, sort of. We met a month or so after talking and seemed to hit it off. We always had a good time together and I instantly felt comfortable around him. I didn't make it so easy in the beginning. He wanted to take me out for fews before I finally agreed to anything. So I feel like most of the confusion is my fault. I don't think I ever gave him a true reason to think I was interested. So two years later and we are still in a "talking" stage. For a while I kinda figured it turned into more of a booty call arrangement and I was okay with that. We never talked about what we were/are and just ran with it. So after all this time we still see eachother here or there. Usually once or sometimes twice a month. He does work an overnight shift and I am in retail so usually we only luck out here or there. But when we are with each other its just different. It is hard to explain so I apologize ahead of time. Ive been with guys where its a totally booty call/last minute thing and its simple and no emotions evolved. But with this guy, we talk about our families and we cuddle and talk about life. Sometimes we have really intense conversations. So that's really the thing that throws me off. Ive never been in this position with someone for so long. He opens up more to me than anyone Ive actually dated.(Kind of sad, I know.)But there is such a comfort level there. I can even feel how comfortable he is sometimes which is strange to me. Its just weird to feel so close to someone that I hardly see, I guess. So I guess my question/s are... Is it normal for a guy to keep a booty call around for 2 years? And does it sound like there is more there or is it simply a late night call? And could I have set him back when we first met with blowing him off at first? Ughh just some ideas thrown out there would be lovely!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2013):
 my aunt was kept as a booty call by a married man for 25 years till he died.
I had a FWB with an x that lasted so long I can't recall how long it was but it was a long time.
sure guys can keep booty calls 2 years or longer...
just because it's long term does not mean he feels more than friendship.
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (9 July 2013):
 I agree with k_c100. I was in a similar situation to yours for two years, and at the end of it, the guy moved in with another woman. It broke my heart. Ten years later he contacted me and told me he regretted losing me and that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. He wanted to reconnect with me, but of course I had moved on.
Sometimes men don't realize when they have a good thing, until it's gone and they've experienced other relationships. I believe that the two of you do share a special connection, but I don't think he realizes it. If he did, he would make a serious effort to be in a proper relationship with you. For now you are just a friend with benefits.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (9 July 2013):
 Yes a guy can keep a girl as a booty call for 2 years or more - if the girl keeps giving him sex why would he stop? He would only stop when he meets another girl, and at present your girl doesnt have another girl so you will do for the time being.
I dont think making him wait a few times before you agreed to go out with him could have confused him that much, men are not stupid and he will know that you have been hanging on for 2 years which shows how much you like him, otherwise you would have met someone else.
Does it sound like there is more to this than just a booty call? Not really. Men are simple creatures - if they really like a girl then nothing will stand in the way of getting with her. Work, school, distance....none of these things matter when a guy REALLY likes a girl. If he likes her but isnt crazy about her, then he will keep seeing her infrequently until something better comes along.
You are definitely the latter - he doesnt like you enough to make you his girlfriend or to make the effort to see on a weekly basis. But he does enjoy the sex with you and enjoys your company so you are fine for a bit of fun and a chat when he feels like it.
I have tortured myself enough over the years to know that when a guy likes you, you will know about it. When he's not that bothered, then you will drive yourself crazy wondering how he feels. When he likes you, its obvious. I had an ex boyfriend who I carried on seeing/having a booty call arrangement with for about 4 years, I was still crazy about him and when he was with me it felt like it was so right - he still wanted to cuddle, kiss, talk, laugh....but it never went anywhere and we never got back together. I was just the easy option - we had great sex and were comfortable in each other's company, but he didnt want anything more than that. He has now moved in with another girl and is happy with her.
So dont be fooled into thinking that isnt not a booty call just because it has been going on for years - mine went on for 4 years and at the end of the day I was still a booty call until he moved on with someone else.
If you like him and want more - tell him. Yes its scary but its better than living in limbo for another 2 years.
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