A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I liked a girl whom I met at a pool at a fitness club. She is totally a free minded girl and I like her for that. She once said that she liked to be complimented and I jokingly said that I would compliment her every day. She took it seriously and I started sending her mushy compliments every morning. Over the time I started falling for her. She has a guy friend she has known for 6 years. I asked her about him and she said they are just close friends. I believed it and told her that I like her. She said she needed time to give me an answer as she doesn’t know me so well. I agreed. Later I found out that the guy likes her too and had already told her this. But she never gave him an answer as well. But she did tell me that he has a huge age gap and don’t think she can like him. I believed her again.Again a few weeks later I saw them sitting at the coffee shop. I just couldn’t stop myself from spying on them. I saw nothing out of the ordinary happen between them while they were sitting there but after they left he walked her home holding hands all the while.I was heartbroken after seeing this and called her up later that night. I told her what I saw. She told me that she is like that with all her friends, be it male or female. She likes holding hands when they walk. She never held my hand and told me that she thought I was too shy. Thoughts started running through my mind and I had to ask her. If she had ever slept with him. She got very hurt by that question and replied no. she cried and I can’t stand it when she cries and feel guilty about it.Am I wrong here? Is it normal for a guy and girl just friends to be holding hands like that? Did I read too much into it? Should I stop having feelings for her and stop sending her mushy text?
View related questions:
heartbroken, shy, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@boredatwork
i already mentioned in the question at i told her that i like her and also gone out with her a number of times. and i have been sending them for three months a new one every day.
A
male
reader, Boredatwork  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 How long have you been giving her these compliments?
Maybe she got bored of waiting for you to make the move or ask her out.... and moved on herself?
Sounds to me like you had a chance, but didnt grasp in it time.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): It appears you have way more feelings for her than she does for you, so if you don't like her holding hands with other guys, you'll have to tell her you won't want to be anything more than a friend unless she stops doing that. If she doesn't like that, then there's nothing you can do. All you can do is tell her that her hands on approach with her guy friends bothers you. If she told you she feels she doesn't know you well enough to be your gf, then she probably won't listen or adhere to any of your stipulations. If you say she's a free-minded girl who likes to hear compliments from others all the time, then she sounds like the kind of attention-getter that will go through many flitty, fast relationships that will all be for herself, not for the guy. A guy who feels serious about her will not have a chance, because she's not mature enough to maintain any relationship more than just friends with a mature guy. The proof is in holding hands with all her guy friends like she's still in grade 4. You're better off passing on this one and waiting until you come across one that will be able to honor you on top of the normal respect and love. This girl doesn't seem very honorable.
...............................
|
