A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17, and lately I've been into older men (30's-40's).Boys my age just don't interest me in anyway whatsoever.I know this isn't a phase.What I want to know is if this is normal for a girl my age.And also,I would like to know if guys in their 30s-40s even think about a serious relationship with someone around my age.
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male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (24 January 2009):
 I'm 48, and to answer your question at it's face value, You being 17, NO! That's for obvious reasons. However, 18 or +, absolutely!
Maturity is an important factor. I've known some 18-25 year olds who were calm and mature as the day is long. Then there have been some women in their 40's who acted like they were 16. It all depends on mutual interests, and the ability to communicate. I know many people think it would be all about sex, but that isn't true!
I had this conversation with a friend who has daughters. They were constantly having problems with boyfriends. I asked him,"would you rather your daughter date a guy her age who treats her poorly, or an older guy who treats her great"? He sat quiet for a moment, and said, "well, If the older guy wasn't just after sex, but really cared for her, treated her like a lady and showed her respect, took good care of her and didn't mistreat her, I'd rather see her with the older guy".
A
female
reader, lovinggirl  +, writes (4 November 2008):
I'm in a similar boat. It's really quite normal.
I've been on dates with guys that are 25, 26, 28 and 29. They didn't last overly long as there was more emphasis on the physical aspect of things.
I'm now seeing a guy who is 12 years older than me, it's a bit more serious than just a bit of fun although it's not a totally serious relationship due to the distance apart we live (90 miles), the age thing sometimes comes up in conversation but we've been together for 6 months and have gone through a lot together.
In short, age isn't really that much of a problem as long as you find the right partner who is willing to put in as much into your relationship as you are :)
Good luck! x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): I have always been into older men. When I was 18, I went through a phase of being interested in MUCH older men and went out with a 45 year old and then a 36 year old at that time, which seemed really normal and comfortable to me at that time.
I'm now married to a man 10 years my senior and never even think about the age gap. I do not generally find men my own age (32) or younger attractive. So it wasn't a phase for me either.
My only advice would be not to let an older man take advantage of you - they are more mature and worldly wise, and you are still quite young and some older men are only interested in having a 'trophy' girlfriend or the excitement of a physical relationship with someone younger, when you might want something more than that. Also, different interests/life experience may be a barrier to a relationship with an older man. But you're definitely not alone there! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): Boys your age don't interest you as you are definitely more mature than them.I think you find their immature behavior irritating wait for a few years.you will definitely meet someone closer to your age who will be as mature as you.I have always found Nerds/Geeks are much more mature than the so called "studs".They are very interesting once they get over their shyness. Also every girl passes through this phase.But most of the time an older guy is interested in a young body than a young person.From your post I find you to be quite intelligent and you seem to value yourself.Never let an older guy exploit you.All the best Dear.
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (3 November 2008):
 I went through a similar thing although I was in my early 20's. I didn't think it was a phase either but it was.I would be concerned if someone in their age group was interested in you, your still young and usually they would only be intersted in 1 thing.Be careful and look after yourself.
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