A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been off and on with my ex for 10yrs. We have children together.He has stringed me along by telling me he loves me and making sure if i meet someone, coming back into my life at his convenience. He always has called me at random hours especially late at night and early morning to make sure im not with anyone else. Its been hard for me to move on being single with kids. Im in love with him and have been hanging onto the hope that he'd one day realize he wants to be with me again. This has been going on for too long. Not to mention, my self esteem from him repeatedly telling me negative things about myself has shot down. He has said he doesn't want to "commit" to me because we had issues in the past and i broke his heart before. But, he always tells me how much he loves me and wishes things were different between us, but, makes no effort to make anything happen. When i ask him about other women he insists that nothing has happened and they are just "friends". He swears on my kids life. Well, recently he went away to jail for a long time and i was able to get ahold of his computer. I have found out that these other women are more than "friends", i have found naked pictures of one of them, i have found letters written to them ect.. Now that he is there he is telling me how much he needs me, loves me, wants to get married to me, tells me that im sexy(he never has said this before) he keeps saying to me he now has realized what he had with me and he regrets never being with just me and wants to forget everything in the past and move on with me and the kids. I want to believe him so badly but, another part of me want to walk away....I need advice. Please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): Dear Poster
Thanks for the feedback. Be strong and think about yourself and your future.
Best wishes and lots of smiles.
We are here for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello,
Thank you for your advice regarding my ex in jail. This is very tuff for me because even though he has allowed me to feel pain, i don't like the thought of doing it back to him. He has humiliated me and you are right. I have heard this many times before from friends and family. So, its good to hear it again. Thanks again for taking the time to respond to me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): Dear Poster
You have suffered enough pain and hurt; this man humiliated you and treated you and your kids without respect; now he is in prison and he is expecting for you to put your life on hold to wait for him; after how he treated you; why will he treat you any different when he is released; NO, I don't think you should wait for him and his promises; now you have the opportunity to move on with your life, without any interference or trouble from him.
I suggest you think about your children and yourself. Start a new life and forget about him; don't waste your life on this looser. He did not treat you with love or respect; he will come out and continue his same old pattern; you deserve somebody that will value you and treat you with love and respect.
Think carefully and do what is best for you and your kids.
Best wishes and keep us posted.
Always keep smiling.
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