A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i know this might sound like another stupid question...but is it really wrong to call myself a virgin even if he did penetrate me... i know the whole definition of being a virgin and all but i tried to prevent it...he was just to fast for me to stop him the second time... can i still consider myself a virgin to someone i will love one day or marry? or is it just lying to them and myself? im still kinda confused and upset..he wasn't suppose to be my 1stp.s. i just really want to forget all this happened.. i shuda pushed him off.. iknow..i know Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): I believe you are a virgin until you experience consensual sex. virginity is subjective and societally constructed, not scientific condition.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): Babes, why are you so worried about it. By the time you meet the right guy and get married, you might meet someone who doesn't want a virgin or who doesn't care. It is not a big issue for everyone, indeed a lot of men don't really care about that type of thing. You had sex, or were forced to have sex, those are the things you need to attend to. If you was forced, I must assume no condom was used and if you have not had your period you should arrange a pregnancy test. You should also check for sexual disease, because he's probably done this before. You also need to examine why you are dating this guy, since your not in love with him, you don't want to marry him, yet you let yourself get into such an intimate situation that sex was an option on the cards..
These things are more important than if your a virgin or not. Yes Hollywood movies and romance books, always say that virginity in marriage is the best. The reality as you've found out that first time sex is really crap. So your no longer a virgin, so what. Has it really changed who you are, has it changed your values, your morals, what you think about sex before marriage. Move on, or if he hurt you, contact the police and turn him in. If you don't want to do the sex thing again until you are married, then don't date guys unless you know you and him are totally in love. Virginity doesn't make you a better person, and it doesn't make you a worse one. Don't lie to the next guy you have sex with. If he asks, then tell him what happened, and tell him you didn't enjoy it, and that is that. Let it go babes, and try to move on. Life is not the movies, these things happen, but it's not the end of the world. If you lie and say your a virgin to your next partner, he might find out, and that will really hurt him. Men might not care about virginity, but they really hate women who lie.
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A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (3 November 2008):
 Whether it is wrong or right to consider yourself a virgin is subjective. In my opinion it is understandable that you still want to consider yourself a virgin. I think it is ok if you consider yourself a virgin.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for those answers but... i was just asking would it be wrong for me to consider i was a virgin? i kinda got the point that i wasn't anymore
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): Dear Poster
Why would you want to live in denial and fool yourself?
The reality is: You are no longer a virgin.
If you are unhappy about the way you lost your virginity and if you feel you bad about it; maybe you should consider a session with a counselor to help you to overcome those feelings and emotions that you are dealing with; I can understand that you might feel upset and that you are disappointed; if it was your dream to wait for love and marriage; BUT you have to learn to make peace with what happened; you need to let go of the emotions and the feelings (probably even some anger) towards the guy and towards yourself for not preventing it; you have to forgive and do not allow any bottled up feelings about the incident.
It will be of great benefit if you could talk to a counselor about this and learn with guidance; how to move forward form this and to not suppress your feelings and emotions around this; to deal with it in a professional manner now will avoid you problems and issues later in life.
It is unfortunate that it happened but you can still make a decision about your sexual activities and can set certain boundaries.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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A
male
reader, yum yum +, writes (3 November 2008):
You can be in denial that you were penetrated if it makes you feel better. You can try and forget about it and consider yourself a virgin. Don't tell anybody, if you did not bleed then nobody will know.
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A
male
reader, yum yum +, writes (3 November 2008):
You can be in denial that you were penetrated if it makes you feel better. You can try and forget about it and consider yourself a virgin. Don't tell anybody, if you did not bleed then nobody will know.
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (3 November 2008):
 Well technically no your not a virgin if he penetrated you. Just wait until your ready next time.
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