A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 54 years old and met a really nice man who is 15 years my senior. He is divorced and has two daughters one aged 34 and the other in her twenties.On our first date he made a toast to his eldest daughters success in getting a promotion. (interesting - but I didn't really comment - It was a new scenario to me). I have two sons and don't do that sort of thing. Anyway most of the evening was taken up with talking about his daughter.He went away on business for a week and we spoke - or wrote to each other almost everyday. we went to the movies when he came back. He didn't ask me how my week had been or what I had been up to, but rather referred to his daughter by a pet name and spoke about her all the time - except when the movie was playing.The movie choice itself was odd in that he asked me what I would like to watch and then booked a movie that he and his daughter would normally watch. During the next week we met for coffee (and there were two shot glasses of a liquor). He said that he wants to drink a toast to one of the most beautiful and successful women he knows. (and threw the shot back) - I sipped the horrid stuff. (the toast was to his daughter).So that made me feel a little miffed. - We went to a movie of my choice. (which I really liked and he over analysed to death and pulled it apart). It got to the stage where I wished I hadn't asked how he liked the movie. Because I seriously no longer cared.Every time we meet he talks about her obsessively so. I haven't met the woman - now no longer want. She has recently moved back home. And any suggestions I made about decor, (is of course totally taboo) and if I visit (I don't often do the drop by thing), but she is out.At Christmas I was told not to buy her a present that she didn't celebrate Christmas really and so I didn't. But she left me a present. And he made a comment that I thought you would have got her something in any case. (why?)I asked how his day had been and he said that he and she had spent the last few days changing her image. that they had gone shopping and bought various items of clothing together. She is planning on moving up in the company she works for and has been watching videos with powerful business women in them. (she is divorced - apparently her husband wasn't good enough for her - and has reverted to her maiden name)I mentioned that I believed that there were three people in whatever we had, me, him and his daughter. He came to visit me stayed for 3 hours and in that time he mentioned her 45 times. He said that he hadn't realised that it was a problem...Since I mentioned this - he doesn't talk to me often. Its like he has nothing else to talk about.Or I am getting the silent treatment because I don't worship the ground she walks on.He once asked me about my sons and half way through my telling them he said that I was losing concentration. (huh?!) and changed the subject.
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male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (8 August 2017):
It seems like the guy is not interested in you or your life. He just want someone to talk about his daughter.
You deserve better honestly.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (29 December 2016):
 Apart from the age, he sounds like my boss! It is impossible to have a conversation with him without him mentioning one or more of his 3 daughters.
I recently had knee surgery, which necessitated me being away from work for a couple of weeks. On my first day back, he came over to ask how I was. As I was talking, he butted in with something one of his daughters had had done on her knee. He can turn EVERY conversation into one about a daughter of his. Luckily he is only my boss, not my boyfriend.
Odd that he only talks about one daughter. I wonder why he doesn't mention the other one?
Regardless of talking about his daughter, what would ring alarm bells for me would be that he never asks about your life and, on the odd occasion he does, interrupts and starts talking about the favourite daughter again. This is not going to change so you need to decide whether you want more of this (I could not imagine why) or whether you want to leave him to enjoy his life with his daughter while you find someone who is interested in YOU.
I know what I would be doing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2016): I don't think there is room in his heart or mind for you. He wants someone to fit around his overwhelming priorities. His adult daughter. Given you get so little from this 'relationship' I would take a break and see if you can move on from it. Why settle for something so disheartening?
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A
female
reader, Nittynora +, writes (29 December 2016):
 Do you know I feel so wrong for saying this but I am suspicious. I don't think he sees his daughter as much as he would like too.
I know you said she has moved back home is there any evidence of this?
Is a lot of his talk wishful thinking? He seems lonely and seems to crave his daughters company. Why doesn't he mention the other daughter?
I would really want to meet her and see what she is about. Could you invite her and her father round for dinner? I would want to find out more about her.
Something just does not sit right I would want to find out more, sorry if I am way off here.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (29 December 2016):
 He's a doting father. The daughter has been a very important part of his life who had filled the void left by his wife. Not in a creepy way but in a nice way. He's proud of her, he thinks she's leading the kind of life that is an example to others and he loves her to death.
You see OP, everyone in life needs someone to hold on to. It's either a partner, a spouse, a sibling, a pet, a hobby, or on this gentleman's case, his child. Most people need someone or something that they hold dear to them, something that gives meaning to their life.
He sounds like a very nice father but I don't think he'd make a very good companion for you. His daughter is a very important part of his life and let's face it, he's almost 70, he's obviously not looking at getting married and settling down with you. At the most he's looking for companionship and someone to talk to and spend some time with. Unfortunately he seems to be doing most of the talking and doesn't realize that his audience wouldn't be as interested as he is, in his daughter. In his intense affection for her, he doesn't realize that he's boring you and coming across as odd and maybe even a little creepy.
Let him be. Wish him well and move on. I don't think he's too interested in dating in any case.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 December 2016):
 I think he is a proud papa, but also a man with little else to talk about. She is the center of his life, the apple of his eye and that will not change. I'd find it a little odd that he only talks about that older and not the younger child at all.
Can you imagine being the younger sister and always hear about your older sister? Cripes.
He can't be bothered to listen to you talk about your sons, even at his own request. Seriously?
Personally, I'd let him go. While this man wants to be a great father he seems a little overinvolved in her life which leaves VERY little time for dating.
For me it almost makes me think that he is using HER to make you feel insecure, to make you think YOU need to be super special to be with him.
I'd wish him well and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2016): I think it's nice that he cares so much about his daughter, my father really wasn't bothered with me or my sibling at all. However you say this guy doesn't talk about anything else. This being the case why are you with him? It doesn't sound like you are getting any enjoyment from this.
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