A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my childs father on and off for 10years so I will just break this down.Ever since we had our daughter in 2002 I've been taking care of her alone basically. He always seems to be too busy hanging out with friends drinking and whatever else he does at strip clubs and afterhour spots and he tells me he is busy handling business. Although I'm not a snoop I am almost certain in my soul that he lies about 95% of time; about not having money about being asleep about family problems trying to be the victim all the time and get sympathy from me. I've always had my own place since we met and he lives with his aunt and three brothers(cousins) in one big house and he holds on to this place with dear life!!! He always finds some reason as to why he doesnt want to move in with us then gets upset and tries to tell me I'm pressuring him and this is the type of thing that makes him not want to move in. Now considering we have been going through this for 10yr and have only really started voicing my disappoint to the growth of the relationship within the past 1.5yrs I can't see how I would be pressuring him I've been more than patient. (I think at least)Anyhow little timbits to sum up the relationship:He has physically hurt me before (police were involved)He spends money on designer clothes cars and anything that will intoxicate himHe doesn't want me to have male friends, but after time I found out he still and always had female friends.He never takes me anywhere, and says its my fault and he is embrassed of me. (I'm a lingere model and he thinks I mess around with tons of men)He treats me like I'm trash behind closed doors and treats me great if we ever happy to be in public or around his friends or family.He never really calls to speak to his daughter or provide anytype of support.He has cheated two times that I know of that we have both discussed.I have had one other relationship when we broke up for about a yr once. This person is very well known and he will never ever stop talking about this and making me feel bad telling me he is constantly reminded of it.I am sorry was a lingere glamor model and he feels because lots of men see my pictures that I'm cheating and can't be trusted (100% not true I've been trying to get him to move in with me forever!)I have a house car good job (not modeling)I have one other daughter from before I met him.I started getting more serious in my modeling about 2yrs ago trying to make more money by taking more jobs and marketing myself because I'm the only source of income in my house. And he held on to the bold move and is now saying after he was ok with it at first that he never should have agreed or stayed when i started modeling because this is not what he wants and I'm not the girl for him and that we can never be together ever again and I should move on with my life. After everything I've been through with him it seems like I should have been the one to leave years ago but I didnt I thought he needed time. Now that he is blaming me for not being a good girl that he wants I a totally crashed and feel like maybe its me that has made him not commit and be here and I'm the one not worth the relationship. I cry all the time and he always tells me everyone he talks too understands where he is coming from and I'm no good and I should ask someone and I'll see no man would want to deal with this. So I'm asking men/females what they think about my situation, please help me.p.s I quit modeling because of him because I didnt want to be looked at the way and names he calls me, he knows I have stopped but says its too late and still doesnt care anymore :0(Thanks in advance for your responses (I'm new here, more questions to come)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SimpleOne  +, writes (22 August 2010):
Allow yourself time to heal away from The Jerk! My Goodness! Where does he get off treating you like that! It's hard getting over your feelings for someone but it's so worth it, for you and your daughters. Get back into modelling, do your thing and when your confidence is on the up guys worth listening to will flock. Be prepared for The Jerk to gain interest but by then you will glance at him and he'll know all over again what he knew from the off - that you are way too good for him!!! Be strong and know you are in the right and on the right path!!!
Best wishes, SimpleOne
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