A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a guy for over 5 years. In the beginnging, things were great. He lived with me, told me loved me all the time, and wanted to be with me forever. Now for the last 2 years, nothing. He says he's bitter about marriage and because his ex-wife hates me and doesn't want me around their children is the reason why I'm excluded in activities with him and his children? He won't confront her for fear of losing the amount of time he spends with his children. Is it me or am I fighting a losing battle and should I just walk away?
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female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (1 May 2007):
 I totally agree with Irish49's advice...she said it just perfectly!!! Kudos to her! I was in the same exact place as you a few years back...but instead it was 3 years!! And those years are wasted and I can't get them back!!!
You deserve much better...and there are wonderful men that would treat you like a Queen!! I know what your feelings are...you don't want another you want him! I was there, too. When people were saying to me that I need to dump his ass and find someone else...I didn't want someone else I wanted him!!! But when he stole money out of my account, using my debit card (he got the no# out of my purse) I had no choice but to leave....I stayed at a friend's house. Then my friend arranged for me to meet his friend....The most wonderful man EVER...he treated me like a Queen, and now we are together and he has asked me to make it permanent!!!!
This man has no backbone...he is a wimp to be controled by his ex!! If he loved you, he would have stood beside you no matter what his ex said!!!! You deserve more than that! He is so stupid, he should get a "dee-dee-dee" from Carlos Mencia (my fav comedian)
I know that you are hurting like hell right now, and that you don't want to be alone. I know that prayer helps...pray to Jesus to help you...he helped me to find my bf....and we pray together. It is a proven fact that couples that pray together stay together!! Also find a man that has a great sense of humor...because laughing also heals depression and stress. I recommend watching Comedy Central...The Mind Of Mencia...I get my daily dose of laughter!!! I hope that you find what I have just said helpful! Laughter and praying helped me through the tough times!!!!! And good results happened!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks...I appreciate your honesty. I was married for 17 years thinking and hoping it would get better. I guess I just have a track record of hanging on. I guess when you love someone so much you just want the same in return and one day you open your eyes and see the relationship was just a joke. That's hard to take in, but I guess that's reality.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): If it were me, I'd be running away from this mess instead of walking, hun. I am amazed you have held on for two long years while getting 'nothing' from this man. You are in a battle for this man's committment and affections with his ex wife and children. Now a lot of divorced guys can function in love relationships and be happy with a new partner, irregardless of what his ex is doing and saying.. This guy isn't like this. He's weak and he doesn't respect you...plain and simple. You are the 'fall' guy. And it's plain to see that you want to be treated with respect and love, but in light of putting up with this crap for two years do you see that happening anytime soon. Do you really think he is going to comply when his kids, his ex-wife can influence him this much by showeing you such a lack of disregard. You are involved in such a nightmare with this man, his ex and his kids. Why are you still there? If I were you, I'd be heading out the door. Life is just too short to waste on a man like this. You can object to this advice and say but "I'm in love with him". That is what a lot of gals say and they stay in desperate, horrid circumstances all in the name of love. Let me just say that being "in love" lasts a for awhile, but eventually the cruel, harsh reality of life intervenes. If you are to remain with this man, for better or worse, these people will forever haunt you and create resentment and problems. If you think this is bad, now-it willgget progressively worse. Give yourself an opportunity to leave, grieve, heal and then someday, find someone who respects you, loves you, and honors you...just for lovely person you are.
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