A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am aftaid during sex that it will 'slip out' and hurt us - how do I cure my phobia?I have been sexually active for 10 years, but 1 year ago I had a painful experience with a penis 'snapping' and he had to go to hospital. It hurt me as well. Now that I have a wonderful boyfriend, how can I cure my phobia and relax while he is thrusting during sex? Please help, I want to return to normal.. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): Well, I'm not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn, and the only thing I can prescribe is lots and lots of practice sex with your new boyfriend.
You need to regain your confidence. You also need to realize that you weren't to blame for the last one either. It happens... albeit rarely.
In fact that's the first I've ever heard of it, which means statistically, you're probably in the clear. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your partner, and if you're having trouble, close your eyes and focus entirely on your senses.
But, if it was a really traumatic experience, and you have a real, verifiable phobia, you may have no choice but to see a counselor or really, really learn to discuss things with your current bf. If you can work through it with your new boyfriend, you'll have learned the real meaning of intimacy.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (1 May 2007):
 I feel like this sometimes too, you just have to relax, as the muscles in your vagina contract when your tense and there's more chance of him coming out of you. Also, go slow and do an easy position, as anon said, and tell him not to pull too far back when he moves backwards. This way, most of his penis will stay inside you until you feel comfortable.
Good luck and relax.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): For awhile, it may help you to find an easy position where you can have more control and go at your own pace. Talk to your boyfriend too, and see if he'll go more gently.
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A
male
reader, maverick +, writes (1 May 2007):
 Hello,
Have you spoken to your boyfriend about this incident? It maybe difficult as it will be refering to sex with another man - but if you do feel comfortable and if he is as wonderful as you say he he should understand. This would be a good first step moving on.
I personnaly think that that communication with your partner would be best in this case. From there, you could look toward counselling as I believe sex realted issues should be treated by a professional - in this case this sounds like it has been affecting you for a while and you should look to get it resolved for the sake of you own well-being.
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