A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 and for the past few years, all i feel inside is complete emptyness, lonlyness and sadness, i havn't had much luck throughout the years with divorces, friends, family etc. Everyone at home is starting to get sick and tired of my behaviour, bt its something i can't help, and being low is something i feel is a part of me, and as much as i want to i feel like i can't let go or i lose the only part of my identity which i know.At the moment, i actually feel like a crazy person, like i'm going to explode, little rows at home end up me turning into complete rage and i hit scream slam and shake, i don't know whats wrong with me, but my family just think i'm being selfish by only thinking of myself. I used to hurt myself and i've started doing it again recently just to cope with it, i don't get out of the house at all because my mums quite strict and she has to always know where i am, so even when i do get out (on the very rare occassion) i don't even seem to enjoy it because i'm just thinking about her.I'm just very confused with whats going on, and i don't know whether its just a teenage hormone thing, which alot of people go through, or whether it goes deeper and i need to get some help etc? Advice would be so much help.Thank you.
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (16 January 2009):
 I know that being 15 can be stressful due to peer pressures. You are now becomming a young adult. Life is constantly changing. The things in your life which you named here can certainly cause alot of emotional damage to you. I think that you perhaps are suffering from some form of clinical depression. The fact that you are also prone to self-destructive behaviour is a sure sign that something is going on with you. Temper tanturms, shaking, throwing things, screaming and the lot can be way of letting off steam but sometimes it can cause someone to be hurt severely, either emotionally or physically.
I have had my time with depression and I know how it can affect your health, mental and physical. I think you shouldn't wait, talk to your parents about what you feel inside and suggest that they take you to be screened and diagnosed. Children who have conditions like ADD and ADHD, BI_POLAR diorders can have all the symptoms you described along with hyperactivity, anger and agressions problems. destruction of property as well as self. There are other things that can cause severe mood swings. yes your hormones can cause fluxuations in your moods, however the things you have described can cause depression to worsen.
Don't wait hon go ahead and inform your parents of how you feel and tell them you want to get help. Let them know that you need them to support your efforts in getting better. Don't give up on yourself and don't do anything hurtful to yourself. GOD IS IN YOUR CORNER AND HE WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU. ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU AND YOUR PARENTS THE WAY SO YOU CAN GET WELL.
My best to you and I am here if I can help. I will always do my best. I have suffered alot with many of the same things you have and lots more. I am old now. I don't know all the answers but I do know that I WILL NEVER GIVE UP AND THAT GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN WITH ME, EVEN WHEN I DIDN'T REALIZE IT. AND ON HIM I WILL ALWAYS RELY.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
female
reader, PixieKid_x +, writes (16 January 2009):
 Honey, I know exactly what you're talking about. Throughout my life I've felt the same, for the first two years at secondary school, I got bullied really badly and that shattered my confidence and made me feel empty inside. The other day I started crying at school because I felt I just wasn't good enough for anyone and that everyone else around me was better. It sounds like what you're going through is pretty bad, and it felt like that to me too. I think all teenagers go through this at some point, but some have it worse than others because of issues in their background life. To be honest, I can't give you advice because I haven't even figured it out myself, but when I saw your note it really did touch me because I know what it's like and how much it hurts. I'll try my best to help you, but I can't promise. All I can say is, try to believe in yourself, no matter what you feel about yourself or how you feel, you can do anything if you put your mind to it and believe in who you are. And honestly, selfish is the last thing you're being, it's not your fault that you feel this way. Just try and look at the bright side, no matter how down you get, 'cause honestly, you will regret it. I'm trying to focus on the good points in my life, and hoping that with a positive attitude I can make it through, so I'm sure that if you do the same, it can work out for you.Let me know how you get on.xxx
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