A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship with a guy that is 7 years younger than me.I am 27. We have been together a little under a year. When I met him he was machanic and a student. A cpl of months ago he was let go from work and then took a semester off to find employment. I have just recently began an administrative assisting service which is going pretty well. It's not a lot of money but its paying the bills. I work from home and I make runs to close accounts.I have asked him to help me out and he complains, When I leave and return he is in the same spot I last saw him. He has missed 3 interviews, and acts like its not a problem. This past weekend him and a few friends went off to NYC ( we live in GA). I am really confused, I feel used and unappreciated. But I dont want to be pushy either. I dont think that he is cheating but he no longer has ambition. Is it me or it is because he is still young and needs time to grow up? I am ready to end this relationship, but I dont want to regret it. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for all of your answers. I am still a bit disappointed tho. I have made a new resume for him, filled out the applications and gave him gas to go job hunting. I pay all of the bills, which is not a problem, because at the end of the day they have to be paid to live here. All I ask is that he finds a motivation. I even tried to help him start his own computer repair business. He's great at anything with technology. But for some reason his engine just doesn't pick up speed. I do think that it is time to let go. You guys are the best.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 June 2010):
It's not the age. I'm 22, and I run my own company. It's not going well sadly, but the point is that you will meet good guys of all ages, and idiots of all ages who have different ideas about what they want to do. Your boyfriend just wants to waste time on your money. Don't let him. And you have every right to be pushy and get mad with him. Explain you're not happy he has missed interviews while you're working hard, and he's on day trips when he should be working. If he doesn't like it, and doesn't get his act into hear, dump him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): Hey, personally I don't think this soley relies on the 'age' thing because I know plenty of waster men of all different ages! However, it probably is to blame to a certain extent as he sees you as the provider and has got used to having his way and being lazy where as you (the more mature, sophisticated and aware out of the two) are continuing to work hard and provide! It's not fair atall and he's taking full advantage, no matter what the age. I think you should discuss this with him and ask to contribute more towards, it's not nagging atall - discuss it over lunch or something and suggest you and him should go look for a new job for him together or something, or motivate and ask him what he would like to do and what he is interested in. if you encourage him in a positive way he just might change! Don't get walked all over though, good luck x
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