A
female
age
36-40,
*hygrl
writes:okay i this guy i knew when i was like 13 in school we just started back talking and now i am 22 and i think i am falling in love with him. I think about him all the time 24 hrs a day, however it seem like he is not feeling me the same way. while he just told me that he was thinking about moving out of town and i don't want to do. When he told me that my heart felt like someone just shot me. Felt like a bad dream and i needed someone to wake me up. while my question is should i tell him how i really feel? That i am not falling in love that i AM in LOVE with him and want to spend the rest of my life with him? i am sick to my stomach have not been able two sleep in 3 days. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shygrl +, writes (5 June 2010):
shygrl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your guys great answers i think i am going to tell him before he leaves that i have feelings for him that are much deeper than friendship. Hopefully he will feel the same way. however if he does not my feels will be hurt but at least i will know...
P.S. better to have love than to not have love at all.. RIGHT...
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Well, remember that you've had time to cultivate an incredibly intense feeling for him. If you overwhelm him with those feelings, even if he likes you back, you'll scare him away with their intensity.
However, for your own health's sake, you should tell him that you have feelings for him. Tell him "We've known each other for so long and have been friends, which I will cherish always, but I can't let you leave without telling you that I have feelings for you that go beyond friendship".
It's imperative that you do NOT use the words "I'm in love" because those are too loaded. You want to give him the chance to fall in love with you, and the words "I'm in love" to someone you don't already HAVE that level of relationship with are extremely smothering. Same with "I want to spend the rest of my life with you". Easy does it!
The other reason you don't want to totally throw yourself at this guy is, there's a chance he doesn't have feelings for you. If you tell him you have feelings and he doesn't share them, you at least keep your poise and dignity, and also preserve the friendship. I guarantee he'll think about you and the possibility of more than friends too, but definitely he won't if you overwhelm him.
When you tell him you have feelings for him, don't launch into a 50-minute manifesto of WHY you have feelings for him. Have some mystery and just smile if he asks you why. If he hasn't reciprocated those feelings yet asks why, just smile and say "It was hard enough telling you of my feelings". He'll want MORE!
Anyways, this was more than I wanted to write, but I feel for you. It's tough having such strong feelings and having no outlet. Take care of yourself!
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