A
female
age
30-35,
*tsstayyy
writes:I need help. Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half are slowly growing apart. I really love him, and i know he cares about me, but Im just not sure he likes me anymore. Lately he's had to work alot in order to pay off some car damage, which i can understand, but when he gets off he never tries to make an effort to be with me. We really used to be close and hang out with each other alot, and now that its summer and we've got free time, we still wont hang out anymore. Im just really worried about losing him because i care so much about him. He's my best friend and im so frusturated about his lack of caring and willingness to be with me. What should i do? I dont want to crowd him and talk about it to much, i just want it all to go back to how it used to be. How can i fix us?
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Its hard to tell whether the reason you two are growing apart is because he is worried about paying the costs of damage to (presumably his? unless he was in a fender-bender and damaged someone else's car?)his automobile.
How were you getting on before he was faced with these expenses?
If you haven't already tried talking with him, you need to sit down and tell him you miss spending time together and that you are concerned about him. You wonder whether the stress is getting to him. Start the conversation along those lines, then sit back and see what he has to say. If he is kinda vague then mention how much you value his friendship and don't want to drift apart. If that IS in fact what's happening - and I hope it's not - it will give him an opening to "come clean" and let you know what's on his mind.
I realize you don't want to crowd him and make too much of a big deal, that's admirable. At the same time, if this is really starting to get to you, you need to bring it up in as considerate and non-threatening a way as you can.
Hopefully all will be well. In any event, you'll at least have some idea as to what's going on and what your options are........hang in there; take care!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): I think you should confront him and let him know how you feel, he may not even realise that he isn't giving you attention or time at the moment because of stress with car damages etc, on the other hand if he is aware of how he is making you feel then it's something you need to really discuss! suggest going out for a meal somewhere or having a night in together - plan it in advance so that he will committ to it and you have a date planned! honesty is the best policy and he needs to know how you feel! a year and a half obviously suggests that there is something good going on :) just don't be walked all over. Good luck!
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