A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, Here's the situation. My boyfriend and I are very much in love. We both have close friends of the opposite sex and that never bothered us. However, just earlier this week, he had dinner with a new female friend. Am I crazy to think it is inappropriate to have dinner with a new female friend? I mean, it is so easy to be described as a date. If they were close friends then it would be a different story I thought. Whenever he mentions her I just get incredibly pissed off. He repeatedly said he really likes his new friend or it could just be interpret as he really likes her. I'm swamped with jealously right now. I need some advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Will 77 +, writes (1 August 2011):
She's stealing your man, or at least trying to.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): It really does depend on what type of restaurant it was, who paid, if it was just dinner or they went somewhere after... You don't want to overreact at this, but I personally wouldn't be happy if my boyfriend did that. If you're uncomfortable with it but don't want to seem controlling, just tell him very calmly that you're not comfortable with him going to dinner alone with her when you barely know her. If he's reasonable (and nothing went on) he should respect your feelings enough to steer away from situations like this in future which might make you worry :)
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (1 August 2011):
Hi,
How can I explain, without putting more wood into the fire?
Well, if opposite sex friends were old friends, then its ok to have dinner alone, but new female friend, dinner alone, just the two of them? Its a date
Its nice that you and your boyfriend are secure, and mature enough to respect each other opposite sex friends, however new opposite sex friends, in my opinion is kind of unappropriated.. What's the deal of him talking about this new female friend with you? That he likes her very much? I am totally for open, modern relationships, couples that are honest with each other and are free, confident, secure enough to talk about anything w/each other, but I think he's a little too forward, or perhaps, too modern?
If this new female friend bothers you so much, if you have this gut feeling, unfortunately you are probably right.. Us female have this natural instict about gut feeling, and I had my own experience and learned to trust my gut feeling. So, for your own sanity, to save your relationship, try to talk to him nicely. Its not fair that you feel this way, you are his girlfriend after all, and that matters to him should be YOU!
Good luck!
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