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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): He's got a niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he can do better than you or that you're not the one... its only going to get worse. Don't be the lily pad that the frog sits on until he's eyed up another pad and jumped to it. You deserve better. Please for your sake, either move on or have a serious talk with him about where the relationship is going.
Best of luck :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): Move ON NOW! I was with a man who said he loved me and when i found out that he was on those sites he said he was just looking - even MY therapist agreed it was probably harmless!He has put me thru hell since then! It was not that he was not happy or content with me - It IS THAT HE IS SICK!He will never be happy with any woman. He will never be faithful. and he will never be able to be trusted.Sad for him - he is afraid to be alone in life and goes from one woman to the next.It is not you sweetie - please know that. He is the one with the issue and I bet he was like that before you met him too.I found out from my xguys neighbors how he cheated on wife, 1st fiancee, me, and def the new fiancee! Sad sadMove on while you still are strong and before he pulls you down.
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male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Move on. Definitely.
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Sorry hun, he's looking at dating sites, and contacting girls on these sites.... huge red flag here!!!
If he was content with you he wouldnt be looking. Time to move on with your life...
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male
reader, CharmedNoodles +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Hold up,hold up!! He is checking sites of dating while with you? No no no darling,before you get your heart broken I suggest you put out the flame before it turns into a roaring fire and burns everything.Especially your heart.He is e-mailing other girls,in other words he is cheating on you.He says this and he says that,what if he said he is JUST going to meet her and JUST going to be nice,then next what? Just a one time sex?
becarefull darling.
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male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (17 March 2010):
I wouldn't even bother trying to tell him that he should stop. Yes this relationship is doomed. He told he is looking. There is nothing harmless about it. If he was happy with you this would be something he just wouldn't do. Sorry about this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): My bf does the same thing but his excuse is that I'm not doing my job as his woman so he goes and talks to other women. But he says he's happy with me. Ur guy needs to stop doing what he's doing because all its doing is ruining ur relationship and destroying his trust with u. If he's not willing to change than leave him.
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female
reader, Ask Jess :-) +, writes (17 March 2010):
This is not on...your boyfriend should be wanting to put everything into yours and his relationship not spend time looking on internet dating sites and should DEFINETLY not be messaging any other girls. In my opinion its a form of cheating and shows his lack of commitment to you as his girlfriend...you deserve better and I think you should definetly be moving on from him as i'd be worried about you getting hurt in the near future...you should be out there finding yourself a man that wants to be with you and only you and wants to dedicate his time to spending time with you rather than looking on internet sites and messaging other girls! Jess xxx
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female
reader, jerzyz gurl +, writes (17 March 2010):
personally...red flag also...mine when i met him had a history of it...said it was because he was in a bad relationship then.....when we was apart..he did it then..said he was *lonely*..
why does he need to look when he has you? i wouldnt trust him.n wish i hadnt trusted mine.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 March 2010):
Big Red flag. Why would he just be looking?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): Hi. Hes shopping around because hes not content. Looking for other women and contacting them is not what a happy partner would do. Hes cheating behind your back! If i were you, i would think about moving on from him sooner, rather than later. You know hes thinking about other women and interested in them now, so its going to be very hard to trust him anymore.
My ex partner was doing the same and the day i discovered his accounts for dating sites on our pc i left him. Simple as that. He made excuses that it was just a bit of "fun", he wouldnt meet any of them, it was just an ego trip chatting to them ect ect. I wouldnt go back to him because his actions proved i wasnt making him happy and i could no longer trust him.
Hes married to one he met online now. Think they got married a few months ago. Hes asked me to meet him for lunch. When i asked if his wife knew he was asking me to meet him, he said no. He sadi it had nothing to do with her if he wanted to lunch with a "friend". I didnt bother to respond.
If that is the sort of guy you want, then stay with your partner. If you feel you deserve better, as i did. Then leave him. It sounds harsh advice and im sure you will be reluctant to do that but in the long run it saves a lot of heartache. I feel sorry for my ex`s new wife. If she only knew what shes married....
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 That should be a red flag. You should let him know where are your limits and boundaries. I am sure you can work it out with him over this issue.
Talk to him about this issue and tell him your feelings.
Tell him that it is confusing you and if he loves you then he should not be doing those things to make you angry or confusing you and messing with your emotions.
If he refuses to stop , he could be either looking for another date or are already dating her. Find out the truth first.
Ask him if he wants to stay with you or not. If he says he wants you, but keeps doing this, break up with him
We should try the soft approach first and if he comes back to the right path, everything would be back to normal again.
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male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (17 March 2010):
I do not think you have any option other than to be moving on. I fear he has shown his hand. I cannot believe that anyone can be taken in by the line 'Is it harmless'. It most certainly ain't harmless it is messing with you and the ladies on line!
You know that you must move on as he is surely just using you, ubtil he gets a result with someone at the end of an e-mail?
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (17 March 2010):
 break it off
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (17 March 2010):
Before I ask if you're crazy, I'm guessing you just want to make sure that you're not crazy for thinking that it's completely messed up that he's looking at these sites AND writing some of the girls. Well it is. He's looking to move on, and it looks like you need to too. Kick his rear to the curb!
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