A
female
age
36-40,
*assygurl17
writes:My first question was about my boyfriend of almost 3 years secretly emailing his ex again : http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-wont-dump-his-ex-or-put-a.htmlToday I asked him about it. Me- for you to be as "computer-iliterate" as you claim, you've been on the computer alot lately. Last time you were spending this much time online, I found out you were emailing ur exBasically, he just played dumb. First he couldn't really remember much about us fighting about that last year. Then he said he wasn't at all interested in his ex, then he said he couldn't think of anything he had done that would be viewed negatively. He acts like he wants to be with me so bad. When I tell him I need space to figure things out and want to move out he tries so hard to make it right (spending more time at home, planning things for us to do when he's off, smothering me with attention and affection) but I don't trust it - or him. Had he admitted to emailing her I would've been willing to be more open for discussion but he lied. He doesn't know I saw the emails myself but he thinks the occasional "hi how are you" emails are harmless. They aren't when I'm not "allowed" to have male friends, or when I ended an 8 year friendship with a male friend when we began dating because he felt threatened. And what's worse, he knew from the fight last year that I don't want him emailing or talking to other girls but as soon as the internet was on he contacted her. Atleast last year he told her he was planning to get married, now he didn't even mention me.I want to move out but he tries to make me feel bad for wanting to walk out when he's trying so hard to fix it. For the last month or so he really has been trying to make me happy but the bottom line is I Don't Trust Him. He stands in front of me pleading, he's been trying so hard, but all I can think about is the fact that no matter what he keeps emailing her.Thanks to the female responses but I would really appreciate a male's pov. He claims he wants to marry me but he emails his ex - why? I'm not a weak person, I will not stand for second best. If he still has feelings for his ex that's cool, he can work on that. But I'm not gonna wait around for him to test the waters with her before choosing me.
View related questions:
his ex, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sassygurl17 +, writes (22 September 2009):
sassygurl17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI gave him the chance to fess up and he punked out. He claims now that the girl was dating him and his friend at the same time so they were trying to mess with her head online. But wait, we've been dating for almost 3 years now - so how could she have been dating them both recently enough for him to email her out the blue now?!? I can't believe a guy could be so dumb. When the lease is up I'm out, the wheels are already in motion. Thanks everybody!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 September 2009):
From a male:
This will be a little blunt, but I hope it will help. He's e-mailling his ex in secret, then controlling you by not allowing you to have male friends, then blaming you and making you feel guilty while he continues to email his ex.
He's using you as a doormat.
You are not second best. You deserve better. Don't listen to his pleas. He lied to you. Simple as that.
There are plenty of other decent guys out there and you would do far better to go and find another one than make the mistake of marrying a man who doesnt' care about how you feel.
Hope that was helpful for you. Lots of luck. x
...............................
|
