A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey Agony Aunts,Ive been on Dear Cupid many many times before for various reasons, but this is my most person problem and Ive never asked anyone this before, if you could help me that would be great.Im not a very sexually active person, yet over the past couple years Ive been trying new oral things with boyfriends etc. I have yet to have sex, but whenever I mess around with anyone I cant seem to Climax without my clitoris being stimulated, and Im afraid that when I have sex that I wont be able to climax without me stimulating my clit.Im scared of that because when I get fingered I still have to touch my clit because my boyfriend cant hit it the same way I can.Is there any way that Ill be able to climax without having to stimulate myself?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 I wouldn't worry about "having" to stimulate yourself. If that's what works for you, that's what works for you. If you know how to do it yourself, you can show him how to do it for you. A good lover will want to know how you touch yourself!
Would you ask a guy to figure out how to reach orgasm without having his penis stimulated? No? Well, then why would you think that you're somehow cheating by having your clit stimulated? They're made from the same cells in the human embryo. That should tell you something.
Relax, be happy you CAN reach orgasm, when you find THE guy, keep trying new positions and play! You might find some new things that work for you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I've done some looking into this as well, and the consensus seems to be that a lot of women can't get off without clitoral stimulation. I certainly haven't been able to.
It's really nothing to be worried about - being unable to orgasm is definitely not uncommon. If you don't want to touch yourself and your boyfriend isn't skilled enough to do it for you, perhaps look into a vibrator?
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