A
female
age
51-59,
*ondgirl
writes:I went out with my boyfriend and his good friend for drinks last night. We had all consummed a lot of alcohol and my boyfriend went to play poker on the other side of the room with a group and I stayed at the bar with his friend. Next thing I know, I woke up in his friend's guest bedroom (we were staying with him that night) alone. No boyfriend. I got the feeling that something was really wrong when I looked outside and his truck was gone. Then I noticed my cellphone and there was an angry message from him saying that I 'now mean nothing to him and that I am a piece of shit.' It turns out that I apparently kissed his friend at the bar in front of all of my boyfriend's friends. He called me and very angrily told me what a fool I made of him and that he doesn't want to talk to me or see me for a long while and slammed the phone down on me. I have sent him several messsages telling him how much I love him and how sorry I am, but he won't respond. I don't remember anything about the kiss and feel shocked. I have never been less than 100% faithful to him and can't believe I did that. Is it forgiveable? I don't want to lose him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Thanks everyone. Yes, I imagine that it will take time and I just have to hope that he forgives me. I am going to do my best to give him space and not contact him, but I already miss him so much it hurts. And yes, to the one writer...it was only a kiss, nothing more. The weird thing is that I am not even remotely attracted to the friend. I just can't put my head around the fact that it even happened, but I guess just have to accept the fact that it did. I made a fool out of myself and him.And to those of you that said I need to look at my drinking if something like the could happen, you are right. This is an enormous wake up call for me...to lose someone that is so special to me in a matter of a few minutes mistake because of alcohol????????? no. Not how I want to live my life.Thanks for all of the good advice and I welcome more if you have it. It is all just a lot of very difficult waiting at the moment and I could use the support.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 No sins is too big to be unforgiven. It is just a kiss and he should grow up.
He is just too petty, small minded and immature.
If he is a mature guy , he would wait till you go home and in the privacy of your bedroom tell you his feelings and ask you to do no more.
Leave him alone and he is not worth your attentions with such childish behaviors.
Stop contacting him , you will only fuel his rage. Wait it out till the storm blows over and his anger dissipates. Then he is rational to talk again.
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A
female
reader, lilmisse2424 +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Hey,
I have put myself in a situation like that only it was a bit more complicated than that. But the thing is this: You would have to give your boyfriend some space and accept what you did was wrong. Your boyfriend has every right to be mad at you. You have to let him cool off, and then apologize and say what I did was completely wrong and I am sorry. I was a stupid drunk wench and irresponsible for what I did. You have to admit, that you humiliated him in front of his friends.
Secondly, your boyfriend's friend is not much of a friend when he makes out with you. Also, you may have to control how much alcohol you drink because alcohol can do a lot of things on people, and a situation like that can happen when you drink way too much. So you have to control how much alcohol you are drinking to prevent that situation from happening.
I hope this helps you
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Hi there,
You are going to have to accept that it did happen, otherwise why would your boyfriend make all the fuss?
So it's damage control now. For a start his friend isnt much of a friend if he takes advantage of the drunk girlfriend of his mate.
But that aside, it is all down to you. What you have done has humiliated him in front of all his friends and that is going to take some heavy duty convincing on your part to convince him it wont happen again. First, by just saying you cant remember it is only going to make matters worse. All that says is that once you get a few drinks inside you anything can happen - hardly the stuff that relationships are made of.
You are going to have to start modifying your behaviour when you go out, otherwise you might find yourself in a situation like this again. If you do this you might just be able to convince your boyfriend that you are the real deal, but he may take some convincing.
If you two guys truly love each other you should be able to get over this. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, stupidboy19 +, writes (19 February 2008):
Hi, yea I have had a situation like this but the other way around. I just gave her the space she needed to calm down and after 3 or four weeks I called her. We talked everything out what happened and why. I know it's hard but you just gotta take all the blame and say I know I apologize but saying your sorry doesn't mean thats it's solved, just give him his space to think and time. While he's doing that think of the reason why you did and when you call him tell him why you did and if he says anything no matter what he says to you or calls you say yes I understand it was a very irresponsible and immature thing to do. You cannot argue with him no matter what take everything.
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