A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HeyThis is going to sound like a silly silly question, but oh well. So many answers about sex say women don't have to do much during sex (obviously more is better but...), is it then fair to say women can't really be bad at sex? :S Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): Yes, women can be bad at sex. If you've ever had a complete dead fu** you'll understand.
I dated a girl for a few months who just laid there. I felt like I should lock up when I was done. She wasn't good at ANYTHING in the sack. Pretty quick, I got tired of her making absolutely no effort and just cut it off.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 No, it was not the one when she married Sideshow Bob. I understand she had money and the man married her out of interest. I don't remember more details, though.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Woooah... brown, black, and white doggy!
Some people like it "doggy" style.
Sorry! I mean no offense to anyone. I just couldn't resist!
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (27 July 2009):
Hola Daniel,
Was it the one where Selma marries Sideshow Bob? I can't remember if they actually got married but I remember he tried to kill her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): women can be bad at sex......some very very bad, no active participation at all. sometimes i don't blame women, not all men are as liberal minded as the ones on this site(lol) they would just die than to really know what their women want in bed. its all about communication or the lack therof. one thing for certain is this- the majority of women have NEVER orgasmed. and whose fault is this? 3 guesses.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (26 July 2009):
My two cents:
Where I live, many women were taught that they didn't have to put in any effort. All they had to do was lie in bed and wait for the man to do his job. Sex, then, was just something that men did to women, and just lying there was "the right thing to do".
Fortunately not all women in this country think this way :-).
But YES, women can be very, very bad in bed. And I am in full agreement with Troubled.
Sincerely Yours and her fan club (it's a joke, Sincerely) will forgive me if I say that there is a great number of lovemaking positions other than the missionary, and women can be bad at all of them. The missionary position and its variations are but some of the fun that can take place in a bed, not all of it. A woman CAN be an active partner even if she's in the missionary position. I won't give any details, but I will simply say that she can be actively involved even if the lovemaking position in question assumes that her role will be relatively passive. She can get involved. For starters, the decision on what positions to use could involve her, on the basis of what both people enjoy.
Neither women nor men are born knowing how to have sex. Both have to learn, and women can be bad learners.
I wonder if anyone remembers one episode of the Simpsons. Selma, Marge's very ugly sister, married someone and wanted sex. If you remember that episode.... well, you know how bad a woman can be in bed.
Much has been said about sex being for women an experience that involves more than just their bodies. Well, it is so. Just lying there is but the beginning of it. What if her whole attitude about sex is bad?
Many people think that women can only be bad in bed if the men are even worse. That's not true.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (25 July 2009):
I think whether a man finds a woman "bad" at sex is entirely dependent on what turns that particular man on (and vice versa most likely exists for women.)
For instance, the best sex i ever had in my life was in a 2 year relationship i had with a woman who ONLY ever wanted to do it missionary style pretty much every single time..(very rarely she would opt to be on top)..She wouldn't let me perform oral on her.. Anytime i even got close, she would beg me to stop. Never understood why. The first time we slept together, she gave me oral, but after that never again..
However, i have to admit there was just something about how we fit together that was just absolute heaven..Not to get too graphic, but it was like our body parts were tailor made for each other..She always made that comment..We had sex pretty much everyday, twice a day for 2 years..The same everytime (I tried to change things up, but she would always beg me not to!) I have NEVER been able to find an experience to match it..
I had a girl who was very experimental.. She wanted to TRY everything, but she just wasn't any good at ANY thing.. She tried giving me a handjob... Tried giving me oral...We tried anal.. All of it sucked..
I find that if i want sexual pleasure, i have to dominate and go out and get it myself from the woman (and to be honest, the majority of women i've been with have been very happy to just let me..)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Yes. I feel that anyone male or female can be bad in bed but it really depends on the person lets say there is this girl with this guy who hasn't had much experience in the bedroom and this one girl offers him oral stimulation now this is the first time he has had that he s gonna say wow that was the best sex I d ever had. Women cant just lay there and expect men to be like this is some good stuff. We as women need to connect with our sexuality and become comfortable with it exploration is one of the best things find out what you like you might find out you like your ear lobe kissed etc. Bottom line is yes women can be horrible in bed but it depends on the person there with and how comfortable they are with there sexuality.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Yes, Ask Oldersister, experimenting is one great way to keep sex interesting between the same 2 people for many years. My wife and I have been together for more than 30 years and we have still tried a few new things in the past 2 years. It is probably not quiet as exciting as it was in the beginning of the relationship when everything is new and you are getting to know your partner's likes and dislikes, but it keeps it exciting enough to be very happy with the sex. In some ways it is more exciting when both know exactly what the other likes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Woooah... brown, black, and white doggy! I am light-hearted here! A joke.. a joke.. not to be taken seriously. I agree discussions can be fun and people have challeneged me and vice versa, i just didn't see that it was neccesary here because this isn't exactly.. that sort of topic.. two differing responses.. one literal and one opinionated sufficed.. you can't compare the two. Only differing opinions can be compared.. Let's not get too fired up here.. if you're feeling firey, we can take it to the forums and talk about boobs again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): SY, do you mean here, where I agreed with quiet-echo twice:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-has-been-having-sex-with-me.html
Tisha also disagreed with me on part of my answer on that question and I didn't complain. I just gave my opinion and she gave hers.
or here, where I agreed with OldGuy:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/large-labia-minorais-this-a-turn-off-to.html
or here, where I agreed with Yos and complemented him:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/when-is-it-ok-to-sleep-with-a.html
or here, where I just agreed with Jamie90:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-just-found-out-she-slept-with-another.html
or here, where Yos and I went back and forth with both agreement and disagreement and complemented each other:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-would-not-have-married-her-had-i.html
Our discussion in that question was considered one of the most useful discussions on that particular subject ever done on this board. It has been quoted many times in similar questions as a useful link.
I did not ridicule you or call you stupid or anything bad. I just gave my opinion based on your comment. I tried to show how what you said could seem different from the view of a male than a female. Discussion between 2 or more people, whether in agreement or disagreement, can be very beneficial to understanding the situation as long as it is not too argumentative.
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A
male
reader, Livelife  +, writes (25 July 2009):
For the record, it's true, Sy does have a fanclub.
Also, I think that it's harder for woman to be bad at the physical side of sex, I mean, if they are in a position where the guy does the work, it's still going to feel good for the guy most likely. As for the emotional part (how they react and how it makes the guy feel about what he/they are doing) that's different, I think anyone can be bad at that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): I am typically very literal in my answers. To you, bad is what makes it less enjoyable. To me, bad is what falls under it's definition. I suppose that's why we have different people answering; for the OP to recieve several opinions/facts/experiences. But you do have a habbit of pointing out other peoples' advice and saying why youthink its wrong. I demand a compliment now, otherwise, i shall cry and never give advice again. And then you will have to deal with the rage of my fanclub.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): SY, the reason that either a man or a woman is bad by just lying there is because it makes it seem to the partner that they are not enjoying the sex at all. For me, if the woman is not enjoying the sex then I will not enjoy it either.
Whether it be me or my wife on the bottom, we both like to move and be part of the action. If she is on top, I hold her at the waist or butt or fondle her boobs. If she is on the bottom then she hooks her ankles around my thighs and pull and holds me. For either one of us to just lie there would make us bad at sex in my opinion. For me, enjoyable sex is not just about me boinking her, but for her to also show that she is into the sex too. For both of us to have an enjoyable orgasm and for her to hopefully have more than one is what matters to us. Sometimes we just have a quicky, but that is rare for us.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Lol, thanks for all the replies. I asked the question poorly but SY's answer is what I was kinda looking for. I expect the woman to be on it, else ofcourse it would be a bad experience, but for example if your heavily inexperienced a la moi does that lack of skill automatically translate into a bad experience for the man. I can understand that is would be harder to be a bad experience using the missionary position (as long as ur bth involved ofcourse)
Thx thx
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Aw.. don't adress my post..
I was onlt saying, that if you're not doing anythign at all, it's hard to be considered "bad" because isn't "bad" defined as failure to be succesful at an action, or SOMETHING... ?
But in missionary.. If you just lie there, the man is still going in and out and it's not as fun because you're not participating, but it doesn't make you "bad" because in order to bad, you'd have to be doing something at least. Which is why i find it easier to be bad at other sex positions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Men and women can both be bad at sex. Since this about women being bad at sex I will only address that. If a woman expects a guy to do everything then she will not be good at sex. To address SY's comment about the missionary position, there are differences in what a woman can do. She can just lie there with her legs spread out flat and not moving at all. She can also hook her legs around the man's thighs and pull him closer. She can hold him or just hold her arms at her side. It makes a big difference. She doesn't have to start snoring or look for cracks in the ceiling to be bad in the missionary position.
She can take the initiative at instigating sex or just seem like she can take it or leave it. She can start giving him oral or kissing without the man initiating sex. Not always, as it is up to both partners to show their desire for sex.
She can push him on his back and jump on him. She can hold his head and move and make sounds while he is giving her oral or she can just lie there motionless. These are just a few examples of how a woman can be either good or bad at sex.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 No. Women can be bad at sex. It's a complex undertaking combining natural talent, learned skills and enthusiasm and there is a really broad range of outcomes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Well there are many different positions.. missionary i suppose it would be rather difficult for the women to be "bad" really.. unless she is snarling and poking at the guy making him lose his urge..
But there are other positions that are also defined as sex.. for instance if the women is on top and she doesn't get a good rytham going, or isn't adequately.. covering the base.. if you will, then she could be considered "bad" at it.
There is a lack of participation that by definition, does mean she's "bad" but if you are just lyeing there not doing anything, not moving, not making any noise, not showing any love, i'll bet some guys would call her 'bad" eventhough by definition, you can't be bad at something if you're not doing it.
~Sy.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (25 July 2009):
 Good sex involves both the man and woman participating.
its no use just for the girl to lie there and the man do nothing.
women can be bad in sex just as men can.
good sex is about satisfying one another.
hope this answers your question!
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