A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright so me and my boyfriend of 7 months ended our relationship due to him wanting time and space. We were a very loving and affectionate couple and it was almost too good to be true sometimes. Other times, he would act like someone I didn't know. Like when he wanted to leave me. Well, after the day we broke up, I didn't call him for a few days. I finally decided to call him, and when we talked he really didn't seem happy to talk to me. he continued to say we could be friends but he needs his time right now to make himself happy. He said to call him the next day. So I did, and I had to call a few times for him to answer. I told him I am here If he needs me and that all he can do right now is just try to make himself happy. I want to believe him that this is why this has happened, because he just needs time to become happy. But I asked him If his feelings have changed, and all he could say was he doesn't know right now and needs time. It has now been a week and he hasn't contacted me or called me. Is he ever going to want to talk or is this just his way of leaving me? Waiting for answers is taking everything out of me emotionally and physically because I loved him more than anything, and I thought he felt the same. I can't be hopeful anymore, I need some answers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): Honestly, I was in your position just a bit ago. I was EXACTLY like you. And my boyfriend was EXACTLY like yours. I really dont know if my advice helps, depending on your age. I am not that old and my boyfriend has done this to me. Yes it does feel like the end of the world. I try SO hard to do other things, make the day longer, force myself to sleep, listen to happy music.. ect.The truth is nothing works. TIME DOES HEAL EVERYTHING. You have to give it time. I think that you should ALWAYS have hope because he MOST LIKELY will come back. You need to have confidence. The number one way to get your answer, to get him back, is to just give him his time. DONT WAIT TOO LONG THOUGH. You need to give him a little bit of space, don't call him ( I KNOW THAT IS SO HARD) But yes give him his space. He hopefully will eventually come to his senses and realize how much he loved you and wants you back.My advice..Don't hookup with another guy or say anything bad about him. Don't let any reason of him not talking to you again be your fault. Then, when he wants to come back, you'll be clean. He is a man and all men try to play games. Sometimes they try to let us go and see if we will go back to them. Just don't play his mind games. And if you two do eventually start talking again and becoming friends...Don't let him think that you've missed him TOO much. Don't give him TOO much confidence, and strickly lay down the law with him.Tell him that you are not his "toy" and you are not here to play little games, He either wants to be serious with you or not. Another thing is, don't be clingy. I wish I knew that before but men don't always like someone that is leeched onto them. ( I found that out the hard way )Anyways, Good luck..I HOPE I HELPED. Hang in there, :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): dont expect anything, cos if you do, u might get hurt. Since its been a week since he hasnt spoken to you, i suggest you let this moment pass and move on to things that are possibly more important in your life. IF you wait for him, he may never come, ur wasting your time, while he may be having a party out there. Im not suggesting that thats what happening now, most of the people-related problems arise only because we cant read into their minds. I no that u luv him a lot and this experience may have shattered your strength, but you need to gain it back. remember, ur living for yourself, not for anyone else. Im not saying give up hope or anything, just remove this episode out from your life for the moment, cos thats one way of standing back up. YOu dont need anyone, any guy to determine your mood and your health, cos thats just wasting the person you really are! he has hurt you, and he will face the consequences of his actions sooner or later. YOu have nothing to regret, its not your fault, then why worry? Remember, there are more than 20 billion people in this world, half of which are guys, it is not worth wasting your breath and thoughts on one of those 10 billion people. it really isnt. stand up for yourself, cos now, its up to you to create a life without him. I guess thats y ur experiencing such a situation- to make you stronger. Trust me, strengthen yourself like you dont care about that part of your life anymore and u will find a better meaning to your life.
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A
female
reader, love-struckxo +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Don't wait for the answers. Walk away and don't look back.
Don't let this guy pull on your heart strings. I know what you want to hear, you want us to tell you, just wait he will call you, he still loves you, etc.
And yes, that might be the case or it might not. Do you want to sit around and feel sorry for yourself while waiting? Probably not.
These things happen, as much as we try to avoid it, heart break eventually does come.
I know it hurts right now as its all still new and fresh, but everyday will get easier and easier. Give yourself some time to heal, go out with your friends. Go out to your favorite restaurant, buy yourself something you've always wanted. Dye your hair, cut your hair.
Do whatever you need to do. But whatever you do - don't call him. Don't go see him. It only makes you seem desperate and that's not attractive.
Play hard to get - if your something he really wants - he will come back to you.
Until then...
Stay strong, tomorrow is a new day.
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