A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Not sure if this is the type of question to post on here but I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do.I am approaching 30 and am working in Finance. I have a very cushy job and not much is ever asked of me. In saying that I have always been driven, and have always strived to be successful. Given the differences between personal ambition and the firm I am working for I find myself constantly frustrated that more isn’t done to grow the business.The business is quite successful, however my part in it is quite small. I looked at my figures to see how I was contributing and I was disappointed to see that I was only just in line to cover my salary and costs.Now I live in a small town and there is a lot of competition in the role that I have and the local economy is going backwards, so although my figures are not as high as I would like they are still ok.The issue is this. The work environment is pretty toxic. No one really does any work, there are no targets and I am in a 4 month ‘cold war’ with a colleague. I have tried to patch this up but have been met with animosity the whole time. I have even organised a mediation to see if we can mend our working relationship but she has been unwilling to budge.As her role is to support mine it has put a lot of stress on me professionally. She rarely does the work I assign to her and if she does it is delayed, primarily in my opinion, to prove a point. As she holds a great relationship with the owners I am unlikely to get her to change her behaviour. Now I have been offered a chance to buy into the practice, to be an equal partner. My ambition would love for me to join them and control the running of the firm in the direction I see. The query I have is if haven’t earned the respect of my colleague by trying to be reasonably and finding a solution to our issues, am I going to get any support and respect when I am a partner? I keep thinking that I still wont have the support and I will never be able to fire her because of her existing relationships. Now I have an opportunity to leave the state that I am in and move across country to the east coast, where weather will be warmer, economy stronger and near my family. Should I give up and just move on from this place or should I stay and hope when I get promoted the administration support will be better and I can change things for the better?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2013): No matter where you go, you will encounter politics and adversaries. I needed more details; because there were too many missing details to make sense of how she influenced your role in the company.Before you make any big moves, you may want to up your game; and prepare for future adversaries like her. Jobs are more competitive out west; finance is a very unpredictable and fluctuating industry. I assume you're in the U.S. There is an American flag at the top of your post.Make sure you do your homework and research before you make any decisions. If she spreads herself too thin; and trying too hard to multitask. She will eventually feel the burnout.It's good to showcase your many talents. It's better to be focused and excel at what you're hired to do. Until you are needed to perform tasks outside your usual job-description. Avoid letting things get personal. That's where she's making her biggest mistake. The owners will tire of the drama. As long as you rise above it and keep your nose clean, you'll be okay. Don't pander to her petty personal conflicts. Those tactics are meant to distract and keep you off-balance. You require training in this area.Her plans fell through and she's trying to rewrite history. Learn from her mistakes. It's all about business.Her hostility toward you will eventually backfire. Hold steady and arm yourself with better management skills. That's for your own benefit. Not hers.Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionVery direct advice wise owl and although I don’t necessarily agree with all of assumptions I can see that your experience means that you have strong points.It is very hard to put everything about the situation in a half a page question so it may seem like I am contradicting myself but I will point out a few issues that may or may not help. I think that she remains in her position for the additional jobs that she does, which lends themselves well to her stature.For example I will give her a job that should take half a day, and she won’t complete it for two weeks. Now whether or not it is my lack of motivation that is causing this I guess it is my opinion that we get paid for the work that we do. So I think for my work she doesn’t do what she is employed to do where I doubt she is this way with the owners. To her credit she is very vivacious, particularly to other staff in the office and to clients. While I think this is fantastic, she does this at the expense of those people employed to do that role. She is not the office manager on paper but in reality that is what she does. The office manager accepts this and does admin. It is not uncommon for her to answer the phone preventing the receptionist from doing her job. She is not employed to do these tasks but she enjoys the sense of control that having a finger in each pie brings. My problem is that I lack the ability to be direct enough to motivate, but not direct enough to kick off a power game, where we both are vying for our standings. Now this is hard to write without it seeming like an ego trip because I don’t feel like it is. I just don’t think that she likes being asked to do things by me. I think that she believes that she deserves to be where I am. In saying this I think that taking a course in management and motivational skills would be excellent. You see she was asked to be promoted before I got here. She turned it down and quit to move states. It fell through and she returned. But by that time I was already doing the role. For what its worth I did her job for over a year before I was promoted then was in that role for 8 months before she returned.The business is very much dominated by client loyalty, which is stable. Once a client has been found there is an ongoing income stream and very little will need to be done to maintain this. As the business has been going for as long as ours has that base income stream is very good and will not fluctuate too much regardless of how much work we do. What we do only adds to that position. So in that respect it can be cushy. I don’t have set targets given to me by management so I am free to do what I please. In saying that I set targets on myself, and am very self motivated. My work statistics are triple those of the nearest person. Our state economy is in a downturn, against the national trend. What I mean by my contribution is that as a dollar figure it isn’t as high as I expected. I expected to be plus 30% of my salary at this time ending the calendar year at plus 50%. I am breaking even with my salary and my costs. I will still earn for the company but not at the rate I thought I would. I have no doubt she doesn’t like me but I don’t think that I lack ambition. I think that she just doesn’t like me asking of her when she probably thought she would be in my position. I do not just go with the flow and I am constantly working, finding referral sources, networking following up dormant clients trying to revive them. I think that she just thinks that if she doesn’t support me it will just wear me out until I leave. Despite knowing this I am wondering if I should move on to a stronger state economy close to my family. I don’t like giving up but I am not sure what choice I should make.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2013): I think you should go for opportunities where they are plausible; and have a Plan B backup, should they not work out.A major move and professional changeover may not be that wise with the economy as it is; unless your skills translate to what's hot on the west coast.Sounds like your frustration with a so-called shrewish co-worker; is a sign you're not able to handle or motivate cooperation with an obstinate colleague. You made an excuse that she is being uncooperative,and remains in her position solely on the basis the owners like her. I don't buy that. She remains, because they like her work.Take a course in management and motivational skills. You'll learn to deal with all types. Don't blame your inadequacies on your co-workers. That's a weakness. Own the blame. Motivate yourself, and learn to work around her. Venture the option of becoming a partner, and don't make too many presumptions before you try. Your decisions shouldn't be made around someone you're feuding with; who just so happens to be in a "supportive" position. Success comes from hard-work and overcoming obstacles.You have to shine above the others, not rest on the assumption no one else works that hard. You contradicted yourself when you said there is a lot of competition for your role. Then step up you game.Businesses are meant to make money. How is a job "cushy," if it doesn't? You claim it's doing well, but "your" numbers aren't great? Maybe that's why she's so hostile toward you. Maybe she doesn't like your attitude.You view your job as "cushy" and yet you don't contribute much? You sound too complacent and lack ambition. You're not out to prove anything. You just go with the flow. Not much is expected of you? So how is the business a success without everyone pulling their weight? I just don't get some of the remarks in your post. They just don't add up.You'll gain respect, if you show what you're made of. Maybe you can't fire her. That doesn't mean you can't hire someone else capable of doing the same job; if you become a partner.Did you once date this woman? Women don't take it to the work-place unless a male-coworker was somehow involved in a off-the-job relationship. She sounds like a scorned woman out to see you get canned.
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reader, PeanutButter +, writes (24 October 2013):
 30 isn't too old to get a fresh start and you have to weigh up all the pros and cons! Don't worry about this coworker that you're having a fued with, they should be the least of your reasons to go or stay!
Look at your overall happiness - are you going to be happier in a different state, closer to family and where there is economic growth? Sure, you'll have to start again, but many a big business venture has grown from a tiny seed and so anything is possible if you have somewhere to start!
How would you feel being tied to this job you have now? Sure, it sounds "cushy" but you don't seem as tough you're head over heals happy there and that is a bad sign for a start - you might even end up resenting the job if you buy into it and end up feeling stuck there or obliged, you know?
I would take a moment, get a pen and paper, sit down and really think about (and list) all of the good and bad of staying and going and see where you end up!
There are so many possibilities out there and no decision is the wrong one, so don't be scared to take that leap! Something else ALWAYS comes along when you least expect it! :)
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