A
female
age
51-59,
*nrequitedLove
writes:My original question, just notating it here,since i now have an account:Question: Is it a good thing to have a man who loves you but does not always want you? I am a newly wed woman, married for just one year. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 Whatever the question means doesn't really matter, you aren't happy and that does matter. Have you tried speaking about this? Have things changed since you wed or did you just think they would? If he was like this before he won't change now, but if he has changed is it that he is taking you for granted? If so try going away for a weekend or a week with a friend, see if that gets any response. Stop waiting around for him to make you happy and make your own life so that he is just a part of it, not all of it - we women are very good at giving our lives up to fit round the other person in it - and its not healthy and it doesn't make for good relationships. Also try reading 'The Rules'. Its a very good book and gives some very good ideas for keeping a relationship going. However, you may just be plain fed up. In which case you may need some counselling to help you out of this situaition. Good luck anywya.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Well, this is a great question that really only you can answer because it's different for everyone. I will speak from my experience which is I have a wife that says she loves me. I believe her, but I don't feel desired by her. We've discussed it and she doesn't know why she feels that way. We have even gone the medical route and seen doctors to make sure it wasn't hormonal.
I love her very much, but the lack of intimacy and feeling desired is taking its toll on me. I constantly think about cheating because I have this need that isn't being met. I don't think it's wrong to want to feel desired. It's natural to want to be desired.
Here's my personal feelings about love and feelings. People can say they love you with their mouth all day long. But if that "love" is not backed up by their actions, is it genuine? I believe that out of love comes a genuine desire for the person that you love. The only time where I may give an allowance for something different is in my case. I've been married 27 years, so life changes are a consideration. The younger the relationship, the less allowance. Anything under 7 years and you may have to face the simple fact that he may not be that into you. Painful to accept, but a possible reality.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): I'm curious about your question, but it seems vague and puzzling.
What do you mean by "not always want you"? Do you mean that he doesn't want to have you around? Or that he doesn't want to make love (or even have sex) with you? Or that he wants to be with someone else (sexually or emotionally)?
...............................
|
