A
female
age
26-29,
*XAmiXx
writes:hello everyone ^.^ ogenki-desu ka? lol let me stopMy friend told me this"The less you give a damn, the more people will give a damn,"Basically he was telling me that I should just stop caring about other people and do my own thing sometimes, because if I do that, eventually people will start flocking towards me.(Like you can be alone without being lonely)I actually tried this today, lol my friends were so surprised like "o_o my you're rather...relaxed today," But I also hurt one girl's feelings I think XDIt was nothing seriously badIt's just she had always made fun of me because one time I walked a certain way to make her laughand she called it my 'midget walk' cuz I'm short(yeah I know it's funny)She mimicked me again and I was just like "....please...like that's really annoying, like don't freakin do that. ^.^ I still love you though, but just don't that anymore"I made her feel so small o.o I felt kinda bad. She walked away like " :c oh...otay,"Usually I would be in her place, but I wasn't. A new side of me came out as soon as I stopped caring.I've read alot of articles and they say that people who don't care about what others think and do their own thing actually have more friends and are more respected and wanted than the person who does everything to please others and that their lives tend to be way better like they can be alone without being lonely.Like the "I don't give a ****" attitude works.What are your guy's opinion on this? Is it truly better to be indifferent? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 April 2012):
 As always, it's a matter of finding balance. A middle course. No, it's not good to be indifferent and to stop caring as in " becoming cold or mean or totally self centered " , and it's not good either caring TOO MUCH as in depending from other people's opinion , being needy for approval , and bend over backwards just to fit in or to be "popular ".
As in the example you gave :I don't think you did wrong and I don't think you showed indifference or cruelty, you simply reminded your friend, calmly and politely, that a joke may be funny ONCE but then it gets stale and annoying.
People must laugh WITH you, not AT you, and wanting to be respected has got nothing to do with being uncaring or indifferent.
Same as refusing to please people at all costs, and being alone without having to feel lonely, has got nothing to do with a " I don't give a f..k" attitude. It means that you are as good as anybody else, reason for which you show appreciation and respect for people, AND for yourself as well.
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (21 April 2012):
 I don't think indifferent is the right way to phrase it, because then you will be too cold to others, but if you're overly concerned with what others think of you or others' problems and tend to bend over backwards to please them then you may be doing yourself a disservice as you're not tending to your own emotional needs and your own means of happiness. It's good to care about one another, but if it borders on you taking a backseat then you've given too much of yourself away; at that point then it is better to reclaim what works for you and what can make you happy and 'not care' so much about what others expect of you.
With your friend who mimicked your mock walk, I think you surprised/mildly hurt her because she probably thought this was some kind of inside joke between the two of you, or a bonding thing, but if the thing you're 'bonding' over actually doesn't bring you joy, then you were right to speak up; you can find something new for you two to click over. In short, it's good to care about others, it's just not good to care too much about their judgment of you, because you can't change people's minds and you'll have a more fun time if stay true to yourself, whatever you decide that is!
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