A
female
age
30-35,
*adine.x
writes:Hello,My boyfriend has just returned to army training, after 2 weeks leave. He has been there for 15 weeks before hand. He has to go to training in england which means he is away from home in Northern Ireland. As soon as he got back he said he wanted to leave he isnt liking it really isnt happy, he misses everyone too much and doesnt want to stay. I dont want him to stay if he isnt happy, but i know this is or was his dream and i dont want him to throw it away but i dont know what to say to him because he is set on leaving, and as much as i would be happy if he did i want him to stay cause its a good job. What should i do or say?Also if he does leave and come back what would be do, he doesnt want to go back to school or college or university, he wants to work as a lifeguard.. I dont know what to say to him anymore or what he should do. I just want him happy but like i said i dont know what to say...Any advice please?Thanks,Nadine
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female
reader, rambini +, writes (13 April 2010):
 i agree with Tiger, joining the army is a massive decision, and if he isnt sure he should take some time out, maybe work as a lifeguard for a year or even longer while he has a think about it some more. you can help him by supporting him and supporting whatever decision he makes.
best of luck x
A
male
reader, pipsta  +, writes (13 April 2010):
As a former soldier, I can tell you the way he is feeling now is entirely normal, on your first leave during training is the hardest.If he stays in it gets a LOT better once he is based. The army is a brilliant career path for a young man and can set up the rest of his life if he serves his Term. If he leaves after 15 weeks, he may regret it for the rest f his lfe, and finding a job will be hard, because employers will view him as a 'quitter'.tell him to give it a little more time, coz once he is no longer a recruit/training Private, life in the forces is great! Just stick by him and tell him how much you love him and it is his decision on what to do. If either you or himself would like to chat a bit more about life in the forces/ being a partner of a serviceman, message me on here. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (13 April 2010):
 If he really doesn't want to be in the Army, then he needs to decide sooner rather than later. Once he finishes his basic training, there is a very high chance that they may well send him out to the front line, depending on which branch of the Army he is in.
If he doesn't really want to be there, and is not enjoying the job, he will not be 100% focussed on the job in hand, which means he could easily put both himself and the lives of others in terrible danger.
Remember - a soldier is sent to war, and if his head is not dedicated to that role, it will make him vulnerable. If he is unsure, better to take some time out, and collect his thoughts, rather than rush in, do things half heartedly, and for something terrible to happen.
If he is the same age as you, then he really is very very young, and emotionally he may not be ready or mature enough for all that the Army will throw at him. There is NO shame in that, in fact the mature thing would be to accept that he is not ready YET, and maybe he can re-join in a few years time? Talk to him, find out what he wants, and then dont force him to do something he isnt 100% sure of.
Good Luck.
Tiger x
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