A
female
age
26-29,
*isGirl0516
writes:I have been with my daughters dad for three years. We've had our ups and downs but have managed to stay together for the most part. Well, in July and August we separated due to him being really different so I packed up and left. We were still being sexually active together even though we were separated. Well I recently found out he had sex with a woman he met online not once but four times. I don't know if I can forgive him, or if I'm over reacting. Is it bad for me to get mad or am I in all the right to?
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (20 December 2015):
No you're not overreacting. He was having sex with you AND another woman! That's shameful. But...being separated to some people means freedom to have sex with someone else or date other people. Did you two make clear what you'd be doing during this separation? Some couples need time to think, need some space or the relationship has truly ended. What was your situation?If he didn't tell you he'd slept with someone else, that's awful. You could have caught something nasty. He should have told you he'd been seeing other people. But as you were separated,this would not count as cheating unless you'd both agreed to be faithful during this time. Talk to him, see where your relationship is going and after time had passed you may be able to draw a line under this.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 December 2015):
 I agree with Ciar. It's understandable that what he did does not sit too well with you- but it does not give you the right to be belligerant about it. You were broken up as a couple !, you had LEFT him and you weren't an item anymore. That you decided to carry on a " sex with the ex " kind of thing and being sexually exclusive with him, that was your choice, but does not mean he has to choose the same .
So, no, technically you can't get mad. That you are mad anyway... it's human; nobody likes to think that they are so easily and immediately replaceable after a serious relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2015): well i supposse instead of getting mad you could get thoughtful , but as you have a child together i think you could also read him the riot act.
you should stop all sexual contact with him becausse this is no longer the relationship you signed up for.
You are no longer living together and he has a new sexual partner.
You need to see a solicitor and get maintenance and visitation rights sorted out because this concerns the childs life and is not just a question of yes/no/maybe.
You havent got married so you need to get his financial duties clarified and any future obligations to your daughter.
It sounds as though your relationship has veered way off course and you need to be practical and start forward planning.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (15 December 2015):
 I can understand you don't like it, but i don't think you have a right to confront him about it. You left him, perhaps rightly so. The fact that you muddied the waters by continuing to have sex with him isn't something you can lay entirely at his feet. You acted like a hook up, so he did the same.
Next time you break up with someone, make it a clean break and if you have children then establish new boundaries and make them clear.
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