A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Appropriate or inappropriate? My husband and I were having problems. My sister broke up with her boyfriend and requested to live in the house, I said no and gave her other options. My husband and I were on the verge of separation, I didn't think it was right to have her move in. She said she doesn't want to stay at the other options. I then said she can stay for a few weeks. While I was at work she talked with my husband and he said she can stay for 2 months rent free. It's his house so technically I have no rights for who can stay there. This happened last weekend. Since then my husband and I are officially separating and getting a divorce. I don't want to stay in the house of course. But I don't find it okay to leave and have my sister live with my husband either. My sister is saying she doesn't want to leave and for me to chill out. I explained I didn't want her living there inthe first place because we were most likely going to separate and I didn't want her living with my husband. She said she wouldn't do that (all of this before she moved in). Now she says she wants to stay for the 2 months because its free. Well her other option of living with my grandmother for 2 months is also free. I feel like this is wrong. It feels inappropriate for my sister to live with my husband and I am not there. Thoughts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2013): "we were most likely going to separate and I didn't want her living with my husband."well, part of divorce means you no longer get any say as to what your (ex) spouse does and with whom. You no longer have ties and obligations or loyalty to each other so he can do whatever with whomever he wants. This is part of divorce. If you don't want to allow him to sleep with other people, then you should stay married. I understand that it would infuriate and hurt you if the two of them became an item. However, you're getting divorced and they are both adults they can do whatever they want. If that does indeed happen, you may just have to distance yourself from them for however long it takes for you to get over it, which I imagine would be a very long time. How about this alternative: you leave, and your sister moves in with YOU.? Will it be free for her? I don't know, depends on the divorce settlement. Either way, you could offer to pay for the entire rent of your apartment since you would be moving with or without her. Then you can offer her to stay with you for free, if cost-free is so important to her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2013): How would she like it if you moved in with her ex-boyfriend. She is wrong and should consider you are going through a difficult time of your life & she is thinking only of herself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): I would not trust her with a barge pole, you know how the story will end, but do you know how it started, WHAT WERE THE SPECIFIC PROBLEMS? are you the one who called the marriage to an end or was there someone in the background? Maybe sis???
Funny how the two are both breaking up at same time?
Why is your sister's relationship also ending?
A sister that is willing to pull a stunt like this on you, is capable of ANYTHING!
Offer to live with her x.
Kick her out and make sure you have all your rights before you leave...you don't need number 3 living there at this time, it is absolutly ridiculous of her to think it is ok and chill out. Kick her out!!!!not a good sister.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (24 July 2013):
I think it's inappropriate and as WiseOwlE said, insensitive and disloyal! Why is she so adamant about stay there anyway? It's weird. It may be his house, but if technically you're still married, isn't it your house too? She's acting like a child, you said she can stay for a few weeks and so she goes behind your back and asks him and he says, "stay a couple months." My 4-year niece does that sort of stuff! She should just stay the few weeks you said was okay and in the meantime, figure out a new place to stay.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (24 July 2013):
 If the motive is to acquire FREE Accommodation and to appease your sister, you’d choose Grandma’s place – BLOODIf the motive is something else, you’d choose the soon to be EX Bother-in-laws place – WATER Prov. – People who are related have stronger obligations to each other than to people outside the family.The adage; blood (family) is thicker than water, suggests blood doesn’t run through your sisters veins at present in this situation!? :(CAA
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (24 July 2013):
 What, are you worried they're going to sleep together?
I think very highly of my sister's baby daddy and ex-boyfriend. He's a cool guy and we get along very well in a completely platonic way. If he ever needed a place to crash as he was getting his life together, I wouldn't have a problem letting him stay at my place for a little while. And I know my sister wouldn't mind either because she knows he's not my type; it's more of a familial relationship even though my sister isn't with him anymore.
So, is there any possibility that that's the case with your sister? Is she just a couch-surfer? Or are you sincerely worried that your sister is going to get with your soon-to-be ex husband?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 July 2013):
Insensitive is a better word.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): It isn't as inappropriate as it is insensitive, and disloyal.
Your sister is an opportunist, and she will not move out as long as she can live rent-free. Trust me, your soon-to-be ex
may not mind it; if it means possible shenanigans.
He is only doing it for his convenience; and to spitefully rub salt in the wounds. If your sister had half of a heart, she wouldn't show you such disrespect. They both have ulterior-motives; but at this point, that is of no consequence to you. it will backfire in the long run.
Just imagine the reception she'll receive at family gatherings. If she'll receive invitations at all.
It's no wonder these two are exes.
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A
female
reader, theres_always_a_loophole +, writes (24 July 2013):
 For now, it's inappropriate since you're technically still married. However, once the divorce is final, you no longer have any say in what your ex husband decides to do. If he and your sister start something, just be glad you're out of the picture. It's better than still being married to him, then finding out later he's been seeing your sister behind your back.
I do have to admit I find it a bit disturbing your sister would want your ex husband. As for me, I could never be attracted to someone who I know has been with my sister. After all, it's been said whoever you sleep with, you also sleep with whoever they've slept with. Which means if your sister sleeps with your ex husband, it means...well you can fill in the rest. Yuck.
Be glad you're getting away from him. Don't look back.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 July 2013):
 I'm imagining that your Sister and your soon-to-be ex- will find lots of things that they have in-common... including an itch between their knees.... and YOU, Dear Girl, will be out of the picture....and it will be none of your business how they accomodate those itches, will it????
Good luck...
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