A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it always the case that if a man has been married before that he won't want to do it all again? They old been there done that situation? I've been with a guy now for nearly 2 years and i'm worried he won't ever. We've discussed it and he seems scared. I've pushed him to give me an answer and he says its all about me and i'm selfish. I'm 26yrs, he's 37yrs. I'm confused and in need of help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PoSiOnKiSS +, writes (13 April 2007):
 yes a majority of the men that have already experienced married life and failed at it dont really want to do it all again. its hard work getting married, its binding two lives into one and its a huge step. So if he feels reluctant to get married again the last thing you need to do is pressure him into answering you, and of course if he needs to be pressured for an answer you know that its not a good sign. Just be calm and patient, and be there for him. Ask him how he feels about getting married again and if hes unsure then tell him how you feel and then wait for him to be ready for you. You wouldnt want to get married to a man that had to be pressured into it would you??
hope this helps x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): No, it is not always the case, but often is. I understand your predicament. You feel you need more of a long-term commitment, and he is balking. My only suggestion is to get him to open up and talk more about what it was with his marriage that he feels went wrong. If it was some fault in his ex, you might try to assure him that it is not, and won't be, one of yours. But, be as understanding as you can. Is he paying alimony or child support? Perhaps he is worried about more financial stress. If he does have children, which you don't say, this could also be a big factor. So, more communication is my best answer. Best wishes.
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