A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I have been split up nearley 4 months now, he has moved on, we still have to contact each other because we have a baby of 8 months, it has been very hard.Anyway to cut a long story short, I have stopped contact with him for a few months, and we both agreed that would include not seeing our child, until I can come to terms with what has happened. That was Monday, so that was the last time I spoke to him.I've said to him he can call my sister to get updates only on our child.I've notice now that he will ring up my sister asking her to ask me about other little pointless things eg to send him his cv. Which isn't a huge deal. When he could call and ask her those others things when he calls up asking about his daughter.I'm wondering do you think he's realising what it might have or he has lost and he's just keeping in contact through my sister to be close to me.He did say to me on Monday that me and my baby are always on his mind, and he does think of us, and his thoughts are with me and our baby, and he still does have feelings for me and he thinks it's more than what he thought.He knows the break is for 2-3months.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): I agree with Danielepew. Its not enough to say he still loves you. And above all he is still away, and that is not something men in love do. You are reading a lot into little things he says and does which really might be just what he says it is and nothing more. Men don't usually play games. What you see is what you get. If he genuinely regrets it and acts on it, you will know, cause he will make it very clear. I mean certainly it is possible that he wonders about you and misses you. You guys have a child together. But if he really loved you, he would not let you get away. He'd be fighting for you to be with you. That's the truth. I'm not saying this won't ever happen. Who knows? But it's not happening right now.
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (15 August 2007):
 You have talked alot about his feelings or trying to work out how he feels, what about your feelings in all of this? how do you feel about him now? would you want to get back with him now?.
I totally get where you are coming from and i realise you probably just used the cv thing as just one example, when me and my husband split up, we did keep in contact because of the children and i told him i would only talk to him about the children, but i found his friends were trying to do detective work about what i was doing on his behalf, maybe he is missing you and has realised what he has lost.
It takes breaking up sometimes to make you realise how you really feel about someone.
Work out what you want to do then if you want to get him round and talk about it and try to get him to open up to you about how he is feeling.
Take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Did he walk away from all this because it's obvious to see that he has only agreed to this, because of your own pain and loss. He understands that you need time to heal. But you do understand don't you that there are two other people lives affected by the fact, that you 'cannot come to terms' with this breakup, hun. A child and her father. He is a the biological father..am I correct? So, I am wondering 'why' you would both agree on your baby's behalf that he as the father, is not allowed to see his child? A lot of Dads I know would never agree to such a thing. They would be demanding their legal right to visitation.
By calling your sister, it does sound to me, like he wants to be connected to your life. If anything, he's could be doing this because he wants to be a family again or....he wants to keep tabs on his child. Why don't you and he set up a visitation schedule for him to see this child? So that he can partake in her life and at least, bond with his child. Keep that separate from your own issues with him. Perhaps in time, if he's allowed to see her, you and he can do the hard work of trying to mend and heal your own personal relationship problems and make a decision to be a family again. Try to remain positive and hang in there --I wish you all the best. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 I think he is doing what you said he should do: maintain contact through your sister. He may have asked for his CV out of a real need, or maybe just out of trying to show he cares for you and the baby. But, I'm afraid this is not enough to say he still loves you. He is still away, which is a thing men in love usually do not do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): I don't understand the situation because of the way you worded your question. But if he's calling to say pointless things & not asking about the child, then he doesn't seem to care about the child., Some men are like that. Maybe he just wants you back.
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