A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just some quick question for the girls. If you saw a guy that you found attractive would it turn you off if you saw him chewing tobacco? If he asked you out would you say no or see him differently because of this? And yes i am fully aware of the consequenses of dipping so no need in telling me its bad i just wanted to know different reactions. Also, say if i started a relationship without telling her about it after how many dates would you say it would be good to tell her about it so that she doesnt flip out or sees me as a bad person when she finds out. I dont dip frequently and when i do, i do it when im alone so its not like she will actually see me do it but i dont want to keep it a secret. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow i didnt know it was such a big turn off. Well thank you guys for all the answers
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Alright, I will change my answer to this. If you are a perfect match for me in every other way, that you are a great person that make me happy, share the same interests, fulfill me in every way, our sex life is amazing, you are financially stable and are not twisted in any way: I would happily excuse you your little habit. Everyone is allowed a few flaws. But there's a maximum limit of how many flaws we accept up front, and what flaws weigh heavier than others. Smoking weighs heavily, but at least you don't have any children as well, to put it that way. As long as you don't have other "flaws" (as in having a temper, exploiting me for money, lying, etc), I'd allow you this one.
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female
reader, Ahnya +, writes (17 November 2010):
I wouldn't date someone who did. Like most have said, it's pretty unattractive. I'd rather see someone smoking, although I wouldn't date a smoker either due to the health issues involved and financial cost of that particular habbit.
But, again as was stated DO NOT start a relationship off with a lie or omission. Wouldn't you rather just mention it right away and weed out anyone who isn't interested? Not ALL women will be turned off by it, or they might be able to get over it if they like you enough. If you withhold the information, then it might not be the habbit that ruins the relationship but trust issues instead.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (17 November 2010):
Yes, it is a turn off. I refuse to date men who do either or with tobacco. No offense, really, you are a free being and allowed to do what you want. But for me that is a turn-off. If it only happens once in a while, I guess I could close my eyes to it... but as a habit I wouldn't accept it. It's just not someone I'd like to date, thats all. I think it looks nasty, it makes the guy look nasty, and it smells, and just overall yuck.
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female
reader, JustAGirl.x  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 My boyfriend stopped smoking for me, it was really hard for him to do but he did it and I was so proud, when we were first together he never smoked around me. Whenever we met up I could just smell the smell & it knocked me sick! Now, 2 years on the smell of it knocks him sick to. I find it very unattractive & now he has stopped he has told me he hates the smell to. Its really horrible as well if you are a non-smoker & the person you are with smokes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): It's not a shameful secret as long as you don't do it around her and you're mouth is fresh and clean then there's no problem.
Let me ask you though. Would you be attracted to a girl who was chewing on a big lump of foul smelling brown goop, spitting out vile diarrhea looking saliva every five minutes with big brown teeth?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Yes, it's very unattractive to see a guy spitting in a cup or bottle with brown garb..After a while, when a female goes to kiss you your breath isn't so fresh and that dip cup can put off a smell after awhile. I understand it's a habit for some men that don't care for smoking. Personally, I would be upfront about it but also explain you're not a frequent dipper and that you will not being doing it around her. I know some women that could care less, and others who are very put off by it. I hate it because my husband does it and it gets all over the house, that and he doesn't throw away his dip cups, yuck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Yes it would be a turn off for me personally. I can't stand the smell of tobacco on a guy but that's just me. It would depend on the girl obviously.
If you're thinking about dating then i would let her know because keeping it a secret isn't a good start.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 To answer your questions in order:
1. Yes it would be a turn off
2. I would probably still say yes if he asked me out but I would think differently of him and I would be going out with him with the view to finding out more about it, so I could then make a decision
3. How many dates? Well there is no good time to tell someone that you dont care about your own health and are happy to massively increase your risks of cancer. If I were dating you, it wouldnt matter if you told me on the first date or the 10th, it would still be a big problem and I would not date you unless you were going to quit. But hiding something like this is not good, so maybe tell her on the 2nd or 3rd date? Before she starts to really like you is a good idea because it is not fair on her to fall for you and then find out something that may make her change her view of you.
The reason why it would make me think differently of the guy (same as if I found out he was a smoker, or took drugs) - health is important to me and I dont believe in deliberately putting your health at risk for no valid reason. Therefore when looking for a partner, I want someone who shares the same values and ideas as me, so if he did not care about his health and is the sort of person that willingly spends money to deliberately give himself cancer, then that is not the sort of person I would be compatible with.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Oh yes, I would walk away. It is incredibly disgusting to see men do this and how gross it makes their teeth/smile. I would not want to kiss that mouth. Can't believe I am saying this, but when it comes to that crap, I'd rather see him smoking a cigarette.
And DO NOT start off a relationship with a lie. If you cannot be yourself from the beginning, it will come back to haunt you later because they will wonder what else you are noting being upfront about. Just sayin' :-) Maybe there ARE women who don't care/mind.
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