A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my ex girlfriend of one year and I broke up back in September and it's been almost three months since we've seen each other. As far as I know she's been dating somebody else almost a week after we broke up. It wasn't best of news when I heard this but I've learned to accept it. She's still trying to be friends and i'm okay with that for now. But since Christmas is almost around the corner would it be a good idea to send her a Christmas card or even a gift?
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broke up, christmas, ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, sanger5467 +, writes (14 December 2010):
You said she is still trying to be friends..If you broke up on good terms then that's OK, send her a card but careful with the cookies, you don't want to overdo it!! Your integrity and character will be diminshed in her mind if you appear to be begging. In time she will realize you are a great guy and MISS you, or she won't--in either case you must keep your chin up and your integrity intact--this way you can give yourself (and cards/cookies) to the next person who cares about YOU. The question you must answer IS: If you think she will appreciate your overture, then OK--but if you think she will find it "begging", then hold out for a better opportunity (with her) or another woman. You are a young man and there are many women out there for you!
A
male
reader, Snowshoe  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Really don't think sending anything to an ex is ever a good idea. With the exception being if you have children together. It doesn't sound like you fit that exception.
She probably won't appreciate it and her ex will be pissed. Makes for bad mojo.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 December 2010):
 If you're not over her, in which from your post I get a "no", then no don't send her anything. That would make you look like you're still hanging onto her and have yet to move on when clearly she has. Not to mention a little sad. Instead, why don't you send her a text wishing her a "Merry Christmas!"? I think that would be more appropriate.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (8 December 2010):
 If you two are friends and just friends then by all means send her a gift or a Christmas card. But don't make it into more than just a friend gift.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (8 December 2010):
Have you really learnt to accept it, or do you still have feelings for her? I wonder because you mention you are thinking of getting her a gift. Maybe it is just because you were such good friends and are friends now? If not, then I think a gift would be a bit inappropriate. A card or even just an email / facebook post would be better. But again I ask, are you being honest with yourself about your real intentions and feelings behind this?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Not a good idea.
Being an ex after all means : you don't belong anymore to the circle of my dearest and nearest. So why would you send her a gift ?
It does not mean you have to be hostile or rude, but IMO once you have e-mailed her "Merry Xmas to you and family " you've done the most you are supposed to do.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Why would you want to send her a gift or card, what are you hoping to achieve by doing that? Be honest, does she want a gift from you, what sort of gift were you considering, a tin of cookies or something a little more personal?
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